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Sending Momma for an Alzheimer’s Assessment
I have two friends, Myrtis and Della, who are weekend caregivers for their aging mothers. They live in the greater Atlanta area and both of their mothers live in Alabama. One or two weekends a month, both of them spend a few days in Alabama taking care of their mothers.
A Difficult Decision
Last week, Myrtis and her seven siblings had a meeting and decided to send their mother to a local facility for an Alzheimer’s assessment. They already knew that their mother had some form of dementia, but they did not know the degree of her condition. In the program they chose, their mother has to stay at the facility for a two week observation period. At the end of the two weeks, the family will be given advice on the best treatment and course of action to follow.
It was very difficult for Myrtis and her siblings to leave their mother at the center because their mother was usually with one of her children; and of course, she did not understand why the children left her with strangers. Even with the dementia, she knew something was wrong.
For the first few days of their mother’s stay, Myrtis did not sleep well because she was concerned about how her mother was adjusting at the facility. None of the sisters visited the first week because they didn’t want their mother to try to leave. However they did visit at the end of the first week and, as they suspected, their mother asked “Why are you leaving me here?” When they visited the next day, Mom was fine. She even walked them to the door. She has a few more days before the final tests and assessments, then Mom can go home and the sisters will have a better plan of action for dealing with her Alzheimer’s.
Is Your Family Prepared?
How soon will your family need to prepare for an aging family member? If you are not there yet, do you have a plan for the future? Who will they live with? Who will be their primary caregiver? How much cost is associated with caregiving? What kind changes will need to be made to your home? These are just a few things to think about when planning for your aging family members.
Related Reading:
Coping With Alzheimer’s Disease
The Funny Side of Dementia – She’s Still Got It!
If you are a caregiver for a parent or someone with dementia who was an authority figure in your life, then you know how difficult it is to see them become childlike and totally dependent upon you. I look at my god-sister, Gladys, and remember what a strong, opinionated and self sufficient woman she used to be. Today she is a shell of her former self. That being said, I want to share something that recently occurred at her Adult Day Center.
I needed my husband Fred to accompany me to Costco so he could lift a 60 pound bag of cat litter for me. So we both went to take Gladys to day care. The nurse stopped us on the way out to tell us about an altercation between Gladys and one of their other clients. It seems like there is another elderly woman at the center who is very bossy and decided she was going to “help” Gladys with her lunch. After telling the lady several times to leave her alone, Gladys yelled at the lady, “If you don’t leave me alone I’m going to knock the hell out of you.”
It seems like the other clients were shocked at the outburst because everyone at the center thinks Gladys is “such a sweet little lady.” Fred, poor soul, was quite surprised and at a loss for words. I, on the other hand, was trying unsuccessfully to stifle a laugh. My response was, “Now that’s the woman I grew up with!” I’m still laughing about this. It’s just below the surface but she’s still got it.
Changes in Caregivers Responsibilities
Two weeks ago I wrote about how my family divides caregiving responsibilities for my sister. Wouldn’t you know that Google had barely been pinged before those responsibilities had a slight change. My husband, Fred, who has been unemployed for the past 18 months, got a job last week. So we had to make a few adjustments because of his work schedule.
Now, I am getting a taste of what many caregivers go through on a daily basis. My mornings presently consist of getting up at 6:00 AM to get Gladys showered, help her get dressed, prepare her breakfast, give her morning medications and take her to day care. I try to leave the house by 8:30 AM to arrive at the day care by 9:00 AM. Fortunately, I don’t have to be at work until 9:30 AM. Fred still takes her to daycare on his day off.
Avoiding Caregiver Burnout
One of the things I’m thinking about doing is asking my daughter, Anita, to relieve me once a month on Fridays. Both of us are off on Fridays and I would like to take a “Valerie” day. Sometimes that day would be to go to the spa, sometimes to just do some things and not be interrupted and sometimes to do nothing at all. The reason I want to do this is because I am acutely aware of caregiver burnout. I’ve had many caregivers and counselors tell me to take time for myself and I’ve read a lot about it. So, if I can get Anita to give me a “Valerie” day once a month, I think that will help me avoid caregiver burnout.
