My Life As a Caregiver, One Year Later

It was about this time last year that my daughter, Nichole, and I decided to move Gladys from Nichole’s home in Philly to mine in Atlanta.  It was the beginning of my life as a caregiver.  The first few months were spent making changes to our home to accommodate the needs of an aging stroke survivor with dementia and severe arthritis.

One of the changes that is not listed below is that I have become more sensitive to the needs of the elderly, especially those without family or friends to help them.  I often wonder what would have happened to Gladys if my family didn’t take care of her.

Family changes since becoming caregivers:

• Most nights I’m up at 1:30 AM and again at 4:30 AM to check on or assist Gladys
• Since Gladys has diabetes and high blood pressure, I cook more.
• There’s a lot of medicine to dispense twice a day (10 prescriptions plus over the counter medicines)
• I pick up a different prescription at least once a week (all the pharmacy people know me by name)
• I’m eating healthier but gaining weight
• Tuesday through Friday, I get Gladys up at 6:30 AM to get her ready to leave for Adult Day Care by 9:00 AM
• I have to bathe Gladys and help her dress
• We have two cats now instead of one.  We got a cat for Gladys but the cats don’t get along
• Errands, meetings and doctors appointments have to be scheduled around Gladys’ schedule
• I get headaches trying to understand Medicare
• Fred and I don’t go out often because we need someone to stay with Gladys
• Laundry almost every other day due to night time accidents
• I am more patient

When I talk with other caregivers, these changes are minor compared to how life has changed for them.  Gladys has dementia but not to the point that she misplaces or hides things and we can’t find them.  She’s pretty easy to get along with and she’s usually pleasant.  A lot of caregivers have to deal with combative parents and grandparents.

I am very thankful for the amount of help and support I get from my husband, Fred and daughter, Anita.  I’m absolutely certain that life would be much different if it wasn’t for their assistance.  We don’t know what the future has in store, we just try to roll with the punches.

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Show Some Valentine Love for Caregivers

Valentine’s Day is rapidly approaching and many of us are looking for cards, flowers, candy or special dinners and weekends.  This is a wonderful opportunity to show some love to a caregiver.

There are full-time caregivers, part-time caregivers and occasional caregivers.  There are two kinds of caregivers who would be especially appreciative for someone to show them some love – the primary caregiver and the caregiver with no support.

Primary Caregivers

You could show some love for a family member who is the primary caregiver.  Even though this caregiver probably has some level of support from other family members their tasks are great and stressful.  This person has to deal with caregiving issues every day.  They are responsible for doctor’s appointments, picking up prescriptions, cooking meals, taking care of laundry and cleaning.  They are the ones who are up in the middle of the night helping with some type of real or pseudo emergency.

Caregivers Without Support

The caregiver who especially needs to be shown some love is the one without a support system.  This is the caregiver who does not have a life of their own.  They are the only one who gives care.  They may or may not have other family members, who could, but don’t help.  This caregiver could really use a random act of kindness from a friend, neighbor or church member.  They would probably appreciate a few hours of relief rather than flowers or candy.

In either of these cases a spa day or just a day to themselves would mean a lot.

Let’s be creative and show some love for caregivers.

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Tax Tips for Family Caregivers

This information is from an article written by Cecily Slater, CPA.  It is from the Winter issue of the NFCA Newsletter.  Ms Slater is located in the greater Washington, DC area.

As a family caregiver, you may be entitled to deductions or credits that can help take some of the sting out of tax season.  The following tips should serve as a guide for you to begin thinking about how to maximize your deductions.  Tax rules change, so always check with a tax professional when you are getting ready to file.

Medical Expense Deductions

• Medical insurance premiums (unless pre-tax)
• Prescription medicines
• Doctors’ bills
• Hospital fees for services and/or room and board
• Travel to and from medical appointments (mileage rate for 2008 is 19 cents per mile)

You can deduct only medical and dental expenses that are in excess of 7.5 percent of your adjusted gross income.  If you are in the upper tax bracket, some itemized deductions are phased out altogether.

There’s another catch.  You can deduct only those amounts for which you have not been reimbursed by private insurance or Medicare.  You cannot include in medical expenses amounts for which you are fully reimbursed by your flexible spending account if you contribute on a pre-tax basis.  Payments or distributions for medical expenses out of health savings accounts also cannot be included.

Special Expenses

• Oxygen and oxygen equipment
• Special schools or homes for the mentally or physically disabled (when recommended by a doctor)
• Artificial limbs
• False teeth
• Eyeglasses
• Wheelchairs and repairs
• Acupuncture
• Cost and care of guide dogs for aiding the disabled
• Braille books and magazines if they are more expensive than regular books and magazines
• Hearing aids and the batteries to operate them
• Ambulance services
• Breast reconstruction surgery
• Travel costs including lodging, to receive medical treatment

You can also deduct expenses for equipment or improvements you’ve made to your home for medical reasons, but the IRS will reduce these deductions by the amount such improvements increase the value of your home.  Typical equipment and improvements added initially for medical reasons include:

• Ramps
• Widened doorways and hallways
• Grab bars in bathrooms
• Elevators, stair glides, etc
• Air conditioning
• Accessible shower stalls

Automobile Expenses:  You can include in medical expenses the cost of special equipment or hand controls installed in a car for the use of a person with a disability.  The difference between the cost of a regular car and a car designed to accommodate a wheelchair can also be included.

Nursing Home Care:  Nursing home expenses, per se, are not deductible, but medical expenses incurred in a nursing home are.  This includes the cost of meals and lodging while the patient is in the nursing home, so long as the main reason for being there is to get medical (not simply personal) care.

Nursing, Therapeutic and/or Aide Services:  Wages you pay for an attendant who provides nursing and/or personal care services are deductible as medical expenses.  These services include such nursing activities as giving medication and changing dressings, and typical personal care services such as bathing and grooming the patient.

For whom can you claim medical deductions?

A person generally qualifies as a dependent for medical expense deductions if he or she meets all of the following criteria:

• Is related to you
• Lived with you for the entire year as a member of your household (parents, children over the age of 19, grandchildren and siblings do not have to meet this requirement)
• Was a U.S. citizen or resident, or a resident of Canada or Mexico for at least part of the calendar year for which you are filing taxes
• You provided more than half of that person’s total support for the calendar year.    If you and someone else are providing more than half a dependent’s support, but no one alone provides more than half, you can use what’s called a “multiple support agreement” to claim the dependent, but only one of the parties to the agreement can claim medical expenses for the dependent person.

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