The Mind of a Water Pick – A Caregiver Shares Her Story

This post is from Mary Jollett who wanted to share her story with us.  This is a reminder that caregiving has moments that are just plain funny.  Sometimes you just have to laugh at the little bit of humor that comes from daily routines.

Mom has a lot a difficulty with oral hygiene. Her disabled right hand makes flossing out of the question. She uses a water pick as best she can. One evening, she wanted to clean her teeth thoroughly. She decided to use the water pick with some mouth wash added to the water in the reservoir. She placed the water pick in her mouth and turned it on. That is when all hell broke lose.

Have you ever seen a fire hose dance on the ground like a boa constrictor? The water pick filled her mouth to overflow . . . she was foaming at the mouth when she pulled it out. Before I could get hold of it, there was watered down mouth wash all over the ceiling, mirror, floor, Mom and me. Mom was making her usual muffled sounds of panic, “OH, OH, NOOOO!” I just starting laughing and couldn’t stop. What else was there to do? It reminded me of the old Woody Allen movie in which all the appliances take on minds of their own.

Come to think of it . . . Better keep an eye on those water picks and don’t forget to laugh!

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Elder Abuse Is A Crime

Did you know that elder abuse is often under reported.  Did you know that most elder abuse is committed by a family member or someone they know.  Do you know why I am writing about this?  Of course you don’t.

Yesterday I spoke with a friend of mine who had just returned from out of town after attending their grandmother’s funeral. The grandmother was 88 years old and was cared for by her son.  I was quite disturbed by some of the things that were shared about the grandmother’s care by a family member who was a known drug addict.

When I started this blog, I wanted to keep it positive and upbeat.  But there are some things that must be shared about the dark and ugly side of caregiving.  This video is simply entitled Elder Abuse and is the work of Skewerblue.  After viewing the video, please take a look at the statistics below.  I’ll come back in a later post to follow up on this topic.

Elder Abuse by Skewerblue

The following statistics are from http://www.karisable.com/elderabuse.htm

American’s over the age of 50 years represent 30% of our population, 12% of our murder victims and 7% of other serious and violent crime victims.
90% of elder abuse and neglect incidents are by known perpetrators, usually family members, 2/3rds are adult children or spouses. 42% of murder victims over 60 were killed by their own offspring. Spouses were the perpetrators in 24% of family murders of persons over 60.

The eldest of our seniors, 80 years and older, are abused and neglected at 2 – 3 times the proportion of all other senior citizens. – Bureau of Justice Statistics

Elder abuse is a crime and should be reported.

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• Elder abuse coming out of the closet

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Caregiving For Aging Parents Can Catch You Off Guard

For some people, becoming a caregiver will be  like getting a speeding ticket.  Those of us who drive I-75 or I-285 in Atlanta know that normal traffic flow is at least 20 miles per hour over the speed limit.  Every day we see people getting speeding tickets, we know the state troopers are out there and we don’t expect to get caught.  But when it happens to us (and it finally happened to me) it catches us off guard, even though we know that we are speeding.

When we are unprepared, our introduction to caregiving for an aging family member is like getting a speeding ticket.  We know that our parents and relatives are aging.  We have been driving them to the grocery store, helping them run errands, picking up their prescriptions and trying to take care of household repairs.  We see our friends, neighbors, church members and co-workers who struggle with the challenges of caring for aging parents and we have empathy for them.  But, we get caught off guard when we finally get pulled over and our caregiving ticket is written.

When Gladys had her stroke is 2005 and the doctors told us that she would no longer be able to live alone, the first question we asked was, “What are we going to do with Gladys?”  We weren’t even familiar with the term caregiver and didn’t know if we had what it takes to be a caregiver. I was an empty nester with plans for early retirement and travel.  I had just moved from a large house in the suburbs to a town home closer to the city and airport.  I also lived 750 miles away.  My daughter, Nichole, who lived near Gladys was a newly-wed with two pre-teen step daughters.  Caregiving was not on our radar screen.

One of the reasons I blog about caregiving is to encourage people to prepare in advance for their aging family members.  Before it catches you off guard, sit down and give some thought to what your family will do when your parents or some other family member will need a caregiver.  Familiarize yourself with housing options and in home caregivers.  Think about what kinds of changes you may have to make to your home.  Learn what you can about Medicare.  Think about how your life will change.

Studies indicate that by the year 2030 there will be 72 million people over the age of 65.   About 10 million of those will be over 85 years old.  Will your family be caught off guard or will they be prepared to care for their aging family members?  The bigger question is, will this country be prepared?  Whether we are ready or not, it’s coming.

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