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Archive for March, 2009:
Murphy’s Law Has Nothing On Gladys
I am a planner and organizer. During my career I’ve planned events for universities and a Fortune 500 company. I plan events for our business, I plan events for my church and I plan events for friends and relatives. I even completed the Event Planners Certificate Program at Kennesaw State University. I’ve been planning meetings, conferences and training sessions for over 25 years. But, all of my experience and training is no match for Gladys.
I am a big fan of the Fox Network show, 24 and it’s star, Jack Bauer. It airs Monday nights at 9:00 PM. I’ve been watching the show since its first season and I don’t answer the phone while 24 is on. So, last night I went downstairs at 8:00 to get Gladys ready for bed. I helped her put on her gown, put her teeth in the soaking solution, pulled back her covers and watched her go to the bathroom. It’s 8:40 and all is well.
OK, I thought, I can watch 24 without interruption. It’s 9:00, 24 is showing what happened during the previous episode. Now this week’s episode begins and then I hear it, *NICHOLE! And I say to myself, “How does she do that?”
Such is life for a family caregiver. Murphy’s Law has nothing on Gladys. 
(*Gladys calls me by my daughter’s name).
Aches, Pains, Dementia and Aging – A Bad Combination
Gladys fell on Tuesday evening. She didn’t seem to hurt herself and she doesn’t remember falling. However, she is moving more slowly than usual and needs more assistance. I kept her home from day care on Wednesday so I could keep an eye on her and give her the help she needed. The following is an account of what transpired this morning. For the new caregiver and the soon to be caregiver, it’s a glimpse of what could be things to come. For the veteran caregiver, you’ve probably been there.
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It’s 4:06 AM and I go downstairs to check on Gladys. She is sitting in the chair at the end of her bed holding the comforter up to herself, trying to keep warm. I ask Gladys why she is sitting in the chair. She doesn’t know. I suspect she got up to use the bedside commode but was unable to get back into the bed.
I help her out of the chair and watch her struggle to lift each leg to walk the six feet back to her bed. Her leg trembles as it starts and stops on its way to a lift. Eventually she drags the leg enough to move about an inch. She repeats the same thing with the other leg. In the meantime she struggles with her upper body, trying to navigate the walker in the direction she wants it to go. About ten minutes later she has walked the six feet and is standing at the side of the bed.
She sits down on the side of the bed and attempts to push herself back and into the bed. Her arms have no strength and she doesn’t move an inch. I lift her legs into the bed and I hear her bones creaking and feel them moving around under her skin. Her face writhes in pain. She is in a very awkward position and I can’t move her any further, so I call my husband, Fred, to help me. We finally get her comfortably positioned and everyone goes back to bed. It’s 4:35 AM.
At 5:30 AM I hear Gladys moving around and I go back down to her room. She is standing in front of her bedside commode trying to adjust her clothes. She doesn’t know that I am watching and continues to struggle. I make my presence known and she continues with her clothing. She is trying to pull her underwear down and her gown up but she can’t figure out which piece of clothing is her her hand. She stops in frustration, lets out a heavy sigh and asks me, “what am I trying to do?” I tell her what to do.
While I am waiting for her to finish using the commode, I sit on the steps with her cat, Lexie, beside me. I wait for the slow unsteady rise to a standing position. I wait for her to adjust her clothes. I wait for her to take all of the tiny steps to move the 10 inches from the commode to her bed. This time she is able to get back into the bed with just a little help.
It’s 6:08 AM.
10 Reasons to Learn Elder Care Basics
About this time last year, we made the decision to move my god-sister to Georgia so I could take care of her. Also about that time, I had some conversations with my accountant who was looking after her father who lived alone. Both of us are now taking care of elderly family members. One of my co-workers spends two weekends a month taking care of her mother in another city. None of us had a lot of time to think about or plan for it.
This is not the exception, it is the norm. Strokes, heart attacks, Alzheimer’s and the normal aging process are just a few of the reasons we become caregivers. They are also some of the reasons we are caught off guard. Strokes and heart attacks are unexpected. Alzheimer’s usually sneaks up on us because we either don’t know or ignore the symptoms.
- Our society is aging at a rapid rate. More and more of us will be taking care of aging family members.
- There are more than 54 million family caregivers in the United Stated today. That number will rise significantly within the next 5-10 years.
- The government is not prepared to provide assistance for family caregivers.
- Families should have a course of action prepared to take care of aging family members.
- Consideration should be given to changes that need to be made to the home.
- Living wills and legal documents should be prepared and signed before any form of dementia sets in.
- Begin reading about elder care, aging and forms of dementia to prepare for future issues.
- Become familiar with drug stores and medical supply stores in your community so you will know where to buy supplies.
- Start searching out geriatricians and other doctors who specialize in caring for the elderly.
- Begin talking to friends and assemble a support group that you can count on for respite and emergencies.
None of us want to admit that our parents and relatives are unable to take care of themselves. We see them as matriarchs and patriarchs that are strong and self sufficient. We ignore the signs of dementia and dismiss them as normal signs of aging. Nevertheless, if they live long enough, we will be faced with caregiving.
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