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Archive for July, 2009:
An Excerpt from Judy’s Dementia
Mariah Kissel asked to share her story on A Caregiver’s Journal. The complete post can be read at www.judyscaregiver.com
My mother spent 3 months in a hospital in Washington DC. Relearning how to eat, walk, talk, bathe, go to the bathroom. The staff retaught her to fasten her seat belt, open a door and spell her name.
The amazing thing is that she never forgot us. She smiled every time my father came to see her, which by the way was every day for the first 2 months and then 4 days a week or more when he could. My father had to work every day, but he still managed to travel almost 2 hours both ways from Southern Maryland to DC to take care of her. He was so in love with my mother and would do anything for her. It’s sad to say that this might have been a big part of why he is no longer with us. You see, 2 weeks after we brought my mother home from the hospital, my father had a heart attack and did not survive. I believe, that the stress was to much for him and he passed away literally from a broken heart.
As soon as my sister and I heard the news we were on a plane from Nevada to Maryland. We had the funeral, talked to lawyers, packed up my mothers most needed possessions and moved her back to Vegas. That’s when I became my mothers legal guardian.
Judy has her good days and bad but we take it step by step. The process is never easy but we do our best. I am sad sometimes, lonely most of the time and tired all the time. If I stopped to think about how we got here and how my mother used to be, I could not do this every day. So I don’t think about it. I just do it.
Senior Care Tips from Francy Dickinson
I’ve been hanging out a little bit on Twitter and follow Francy Dickinson. She tweets Senior Care Tips. I asked Francy if it’s ok to list some of them on my blog and she gave me the go ahead. For those of you who are not on twitter, here are some of her tips. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.
Hot Weather Tips
- Hot day means moving Senior to different positions in their chair every 15 min so skin stays strong
- Seniors using gel cushion covered with towel will keep them cooler than foam cushion
- Super Hot? Breath deep to relax then control breathing in and out for calmer blood pressure; raise feet in heat or wear support hose
- Super Hot? Get moisturizer with SPF15 in the cream, older skin is thinner, burns fast and chafes easily, wear hat or umbrella for shade
- Super Hot? Chill protein drink and shake before you serve, tastes more like milkshake or root beer with vanilla ice cream in glass-Yum
- Super Hot? Small amount of ice in zip lock bags, under neck and under arms; water, water, water keep chilled in small ice chest by Senior’s chair
Visiting Tips
- Always turn off or down the TV when you visit a Senior, they can then concentrate on you not TV
- Senior share a care room? Come in and say hi to roommate then close curtain for private chat
- MP3 player that is easy to see with time, music and library downloaded audio books are a hit with seniors, gift them 1 with your teaching time
- Hearing impaired can use ear phones well for TV, radio and Mp3 players, teach how to use and watch their lifestyle improve
- Taking Crispy Creams to the care facility for staff and your Seniorr is always fun; a thermos of hot tea and a good donut makes every 1 happy
- Sunday brunch can still be enjoyed with family at care centers. Call ahead and they will make arrangement to have you join them
- Visiting family in hospital? Ask family to put you on the update list and give them your twitter or email so you are in the loop
If You enjoyed these tips, you can find more at Francy’s website, Senior Care With Spirit.
I called my mom who takes care of her 82 year old sister, who is legally blind and almost deaf. Mom is going to try the ear phone with television tip. We hope it helps.
A Week With Elder Abuse Encounters
For the past month or so I’ve done very little blogging because I’ve been very busy planning a workshop for caregivers and opening an on-line store. In addition to those efforts, I’ve been showing my vacant rental property. Last week I found it odd that I would have four different encounters with elder abuse. These were not things that I actually witnessed but personal encounters nonetheless.
Because we plan to address the effects of stress and burnout at the workshop, any form of elder abuse sends up a red flag.
The Tenant
When your rental property has been vacant for four months, you really want to get someone in there. So when this family came to look at the house they seemed like nice people and they really wanted the house. One of my practices is to do a credit and background check on potential tenants. Based on just the credit check (which was extremely bad) I decided to not rent them the house. A friend of mine who manages apartments wanted me to give them a chance but require them to pay first, last and deposit. But while I’m talking to her, I’m also looking over the background check and saw that the husband had done prison time for elder abuse. WHAT! I was glad that I had already made a decision based on the credit report because I don’t know if denying a tenant based on elder abuse is some form of discrimination.
The Banker
Later that week, I went to the bank to open a bank account for my new online caregiver store. The banker and I started talking and it turned out that years ago, her first job was a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) in a nursing home. She told me that she quit the job and went back to school to get a degree in business because she just couldn’t deal with how badly the people in that particular nursing home were treated.
The Tweeter
I try to participate in social networks and follow a lot of caregivers on Twitter. In turn, I am followed by a lot of caregivers. One night a particular young lady who takes care of her mother who has Alzheimer’s was having a really bad day. As I read through the tweets trying to catch up, I saw several that she had written. When I saw the one that said “this woman is F*#ing crazy.” I was alarmed. In my mind I could see someone about to explode. Fortunately, I saw where another tweeter had sent her a message about getting some help.
The Mechanic
While I was waiting to get my car checked, I began talking to one of the mechanics who was telling me about his father who has Alzheimer’s. He said, “We’re going to have to take the car keys soon. He almost ran someone off the road last week and he keeps getting lost.” I asked him why they hadn’t already taken the car keys and he said his father won’t let them. I asked him what are you going to do if he hurts someone?
Unfortunately, there is a lot of elder abuse and potential elder abuse going on. How do we handle it when it’s encountered, either directly or indirectly. Elderly people, especially those with disabilities and/or some form of dementia cannot fend for themselves.
