A Caregivers Goals for 2010: Unlocking The Old Me
Taking My Life Back
Before I became a caregiver there were things I used to enjoy that have all but disappeared from my life. I realized this a few months ago when I went on vacation for the first time since I became Gladys’ caregiver. My life pretty much revolves around Gladys’ needs and I’ve neglected myself in many ways. That’s about to change.
The holidays gave me a chance to jump start some things that I want to bring back into my life. It’s amazing how little things can provide so much satisfaction. The following changes are being re-incorporated into my life.
Date Night
I haven’t been married for 38 years by ignoring my husband. Fridays used to be our date night. It’s something we started about 20 years ago and kept up until 2008. While we probably can’t make a weekly date, we can probably work in a date once a month. I just have to convince my daughter, Anita, to watch Gladys for us while we go out.
Love A Good Book
I love to read. Give me a good thriller or murder mystery and I’m a happy camper: Vince Flynn, Michael Connelly, Walter Mosley, JD Robb or Tom Clancy. Between Thanksgiving and New Years Eve, I read four novels – three JD Robb and one Michael Connelly. JD Robb is a recent author that I started reading and I’m trying to catch up on the Eve Dallas series. Fortunately I found a good second hand book store that also takes trade-ins. I didn’t get much else done, but I was content and eager to get back to my books.
My reading goal is at least one novel per month.
Food Network Anyone?
Until last month, it had been a while since I tried a new recipe. Over the past month I’ve tried at least six new recipes, including frying a turkey. I shared my new recipe adventures with my Facebook friends. It’s funny how so many friends responded to the cholesterol, calorie laden recipes but not a peep when I share the healthy ones.
This goal is to try a new recipe at least twice a month.
Regular Vacations
This year I went on vacation alone and that was a stretch. Not because I can’t handle being alone (I enjoy alone time), but because my husband is semi retired and has not worked in about two years. In addition to that, my hours were cut just before Gladys came to stay with us. However, we’re going to work it out along with care for Gladys while we are gone.
Exercise of Any Kind
Just before Gladys came to live with us I started walking for exercise. It wasn’t much but it was something. Over the past year and a half I have become a bonafide couch potato and gained about 10 pounds. I’ve got to get back to walking. Also need to incorporate a stretching routine.
I believe all of these are doable. It’s not really a lot, it just takes some planning and time management.
What About You?
If you are a caregiver who has become stuck in a rut, I hope you will also take a look at some things that you can do to take your life back.
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One Person has left comments on this post
Jan 15, 2010 - 02:01:57Hi Valerie,
So glad to have found your blog! I too am a caregiver, to my mother who was diagnosed with Moderate Alzheimer’s.
My wonderful doctor understanding the great demands in my life, recently prescribed for me a once a month “Anita’s Day” which I’ll have on or around the 5th of each month (the day I was born). This is a day where my husband and 2 sons (ages 14 and 11) will take over caring for my mother (and themselves) so I can get away for a few hours. I about cried when my doctor wrote this down and said “doctor’s orders”.
I had my first “Anita’s Day” earlier this month and thoroughly enjoyed myself. Had lunch, went to the movies, and did a little shopping….just me, myself, and I. It was refreshing and wonderful.
It’s something special for me to look forward to each month. And I also told my husband that weekly date night’s (beyond our Netflix movie at home) are simply not feasible right now, but perhaps we can find a way to actually go out once per month.
I’m in the process of working on an online business that focuses on using music as therapy (and giving info about our role as caregivers and other ways to care for ourselves and loved ones). I’ll keep you posted when it’s launched.
Until then,
Thanks for the great info on your blog and sharing about your journey.
Blessings, Anita
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