Are You Prepared to Care for Aging Family Members?
If you are 45 or older, chances are that sometime in the future, you may be faced with taking care of an aging family member. Are you prepared to care for aging family members? Even more-so, are you prepared to care for an aging person with severe physical limitations and dementia or Alzheimer’s?
During the ’60′s and 70′s I was a big fan of Tim Conway’s “Old Man” character on the Carol Burnett Show. I laughed at the old man as he shuffled his feet and moved in tiny little steps. It seemed to take him forever to move a few feet. I had no idea that as I became a caregiver that those shuffling feet and tiny steps would become a part of my life. Compared to Gladys, Tim Conway’s character was power walking.
Some of the changes you may need to prepare for as a caregiver are listed below.
- Changes to Your Home: If at all possible, a bedroom and bathroom on the first level of your home is ideal. Many aging people have problems climbing stairs. For physical limitations, you will also need to modify your bathroom with handrails, elevated toilet seats and a walk in shower equipped with a shower seat, a hand held shower kit and slide bar. Your doors should also be wide enough to accommodate wheel chairs and walkers.
- Time Management: Once you become a caregiver, time management is crucial. In addition to additional responsibilities at home, time needs to be managed for doctors appointments, physical therapy, picking up prescriptions, transport to day care . . .
- Family Support: If you don’t have family and friends who will relieve you, you won’t have a social life, you won’t get any rest and you will be a candidate for caregiver burnout.
- Patience: Once you master the patience quotient, start looking for your caregiver’s nomination to sainthood. Older people, especially with physical limitations, move very slowly. It can literally be like watching something in slow motion. I didn’t really understand until I saw the Xtreme Aging Workshop Video. Telling them to hurry up doesn’t make them move faster, it just frustrates them because they are moving as fast as they can. Another factor in doing things slowly is dementia. Dementia can cause your aging family member to forget how to perform normal routine things that we take for granted.
- Medicare and Medicaid: Understanding these fraternal twins is akin to understanding the Nightmare on Elm Street. Just like I don’t understand why anyone still lives on Elm Street, I don’t understand how Medicare works. There a so many options that are not easy to understand. When you get through that maze, give me a call.
- Legal Issues: An assortment of legal documents need to be addressed: living will, power of attorney, paying bills, checking account . . .
- Resources: There are many resources available for aging seniors and family caregivers. This site lists some that you can use to get started, there are many others out there.
- Disability Parking Permit: If your aging family member has difficulty walking or uses a wheel chair, you can apply for a disabled persons parking permit through your county office. In Georgia, I got mine at the same place where driver’s licenses are issued. Some states, including Georgia, require a statement or prescription from your doctor.
- Emergency Supplies: Depending on the needs of your aging family member you may need to keep a tote bag with emergency supplies. Some of the things I keep in my car, in the wheel chair backpack and the walker tote are: extra Depends, baby wipes, cotton balls (for nose bleeds) hand sanitizer, paper towels and tissues. Your needs may be different, these just happen to be the things I carry.
I hope this has been helpful and has given you something to think about. As you think of additional things, let us know in the comment section.
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7 People have left comments on this post
Jan 3, 2009 - 06:01:02Great post with helpful advice
I was there took care of my mother who had Alzheimer’s for six years.
Gi, thanks for stopping by. One of my goals is provide a little insight for new caregivers.
I watched that burnout video. It touched on many of the elements that came into play in the nine years my MIL lived next door to us. She died last January at age 97. The risk of burnout on my part was so extreme that I had to monitor myself very carefully. My husband and I worked as a team to look after her interests, with the help of caregivers. His brother did not care what happened to her, and his wife even less. I don’t blame them: they had their reasons.
It was OK. And we learned so much.
Hi!
Thanks for the friendly advice. I think I don’t prepare yet even my parents is already over 45. Thanks again.
See you around.
Hi Hattie, that burnout video is powerful. Unfortunately, I have several acquaintances who have experienced burnout and have to deal with family members who won’t help with caregiving of their elderly parents.
@Lunaticg – thanks for stopping by.
The fact that my MIL had plenty of money made a huge difference.
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