Caregiver’s Changing of the Guard

Nichole, my older daughter, became Gladys’ caregiver after her stroke in December 2005.  Nichole was living in a suburb right outside of Philly and I was living in Georgia.  At the time we thought Gladys would need some care for a few months and then she would be able to go back home.  However, that’s not how things worked out.  Fortunately, Nikki had a full finished basement and was able to install a handicap bathroom and we moved Gladys in with Nikki and her family.

For the past  2 1/2 years, Nikki has taken care of all of Gladys’ shopping, doctor’s appointments, prescriptions, therapy and paying her bills.  Right now she knows Gladys and her quirks better than I know them.  So I will actually have to reaquaint myself with Gladys and learn her likes and dislikes, many of which have changed since we lived together in the same house.  Gladys is totally dependant upon Nikki and trusts her completely.

Nikki, along with her husband and step-daughters, have done a wonderful job of taking care of Gladys.  Nikki was her primary caregiver, Troy took Gladys to Adult Day Care and Clarissa and Corrie helped with her medicine and meals.  They also helped by staying home with Gladys for short periods of time.

So with this changing of the guard Nikki will have to teach me how to take care of my sister;  how to identify her moods,  things she will do when she is angry, bathroom habits, grooming habits . . .  One of the main things that will be different for me is Gladys’ dementia.  That will be the biggest challenge for me.

Fred and I have a lot of catching up to do and a lot of adjusting.  For the past 10 years we have been empty nesters – coming and going as we please.  Everything we do from now on will have to be planned around Gladys’ care and her schedule.

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