Caregiving For Aging Parents Can Catch You Off Guard

For some people, becoming a caregiver will be  like getting a speeding ticket.  Those of us who drive I-75 or I-285 in Atlanta know that normal traffic flow is at least 20 miles per hour over the speed limit.  Every day we see people getting speeding tickets, we know the state troopers are out there and we don’t expect to get caught.  But when it happens to us (and it finally happened to me) it catches us off guard, even though we know that we are speeding.

When we are unprepared, our introduction to caregiving for an aging family member is like getting a speeding ticket.  We know that our parents and relatives are aging.  We have been driving them to the grocery store, helping them run errands, picking up their prescriptions and trying to take care of household repairs.  We see our friends, neighbors, church members and co-workers who struggle with the challenges of caring for aging parents and we have empathy for them.  But, we get caught off guard when we finally get pulled over and our caregiving ticket is written.

When Gladys had her stroke is 2005 and the doctors told us that she would no longer be able to live alone, the first question we asked was, “What are we going to do with Gladys?”  We weren’t even familiar with the term caregiver and didn’t know if we had what it takes to be a caregiver. I was an empty nester with plans for early retirement and travel.  I had just moved from a large house in the suburbs to a town home closer to the city and airport.  I also lived 750 miles away.  My daughter, Nichole, who lived near Gladys was a newly-wed with two pre-teen step daughters.  Caregiving was not on our radar screen.

One of the reasons I blog about caregiving is to encourage people to prepare in advance for their aging family members.  Before it catches you off guard, sit down and give some thought to what your family will do when your parents or some other family member will need a caregiver.  Familiarize yourself with housing options and in home caregivers.  Think about what kinds of changes you may have to make to your home.  Learn what you can about Medicare.  Think about how your life will change.

Studies indicate that by the year 2030 there will be 72 million people over the age of 65.   About 10 million of those will be over 85 years old.  Will your family be caught off guard or will they be prepared to care for their aging family members?  The bigger question is, will this country be prepared?  Whether we are ready or not, it’s coming.

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