As I write this post my god-sister, Gladys, is listening to a CD – The Best of Nat King Cole.  She is sitting in her lounge chair just as satisfied as she can be.  I am amazed to hear her sing along.  She is smiling, she is happy and she is content.

In contrast, just yesterday, Gladys was extremely agitated.  She was crying, her eyes were tightly closed, her teeth were chattering and her hand was closed into a tight fist.  We didn’t know what was wrong with her and she couldn’t explain why she was agitated.

I bought the CD on eBay for $1.50.  Shortly after it arrived, I asked Fred to play it for Gladys.  Had I known the effect it would have on her, I would have done so sooner.  When I finish this post, I’m going to call my mother and ask what other music I should buy.

This past Monday our home health aid and the nurse arrived about the same time.  They were surprised that it took both of them to get Gladys out of her chair and stand her up to her walker.  Of course Gladys told the nurse that she felt fine and everything was going well.  They looked at me, surprised at the effort that it took for both of them to help her up.  I just looked at them and said “Welcome to My World.”

More change is in store because my husband, Fred, starts working next week.  It will be an adjustment because he helps me a lot with Gladys.  I have added another day for our sitter, so that will be some relief and allow me to run errands and do other things I need to do.

All we can do is take it one day at a time and do the best we can.  It gets a little frustrating but so far we’re managing.

Friendliness

The administrative staff, nurses and other staff all seemed pleasant and friendly.  There was a lot of paperwork to read and sign for those three days but the facility administrator constantly apologized and assured me that it was only a few more minutes. Even though Gladys’ stay was going to be short, we were introduced to a bevy of staff people who would assist in Gladys’ care.  Each one was very personable.

The Facility

The facility is a very old. The closets in the rooms have deep, heavy, wooden drawers, the bedding is dark; overall it is fairly depressing.  However, on the positive side, upon entering the facility there is an aviary with colorful birds.  There is also an aquarium. The facility is secure – a code opens and closes the door from the outside and inside.  The cafeteria is bright with one side of windows.

Programs

The facility has scheduled activities, including religious services on Saturdays and Sundays.

Communication

I don’t know about other patients, but in our case communication was definitely lacking.  Some of the problems we experienced were:

• When I got to the nurses’ station when we went to pick Gladys up on Sunday, the nurse in charge thought I was taking her home for the weekend. When I said, “no she’s only here for respite” the nurse look baffled.  One of the other nurses had to explain respite to her. That was scary.
• Gladys’ discharge papers were not ready. The staff said they thought she was going to be there for five days. Every paper I filled out during admission said three days and that I would pick her up on Sunday between 1:00 PM and 2:00 PM.  I got there at 3:00, so she should have been ready.
• I had signed an order that said “family will do laundry.”  This was to make sure that her clothes stayed in her room.  While I was packing Gladys’ clothes, a person came by with one of Gladys’ shirts and a pair of pants on a hanger; she didn’t know whose clothes they were (even though Gladys name was on every item we took to the facility, including her clothes).
• The most disturbing thing was that part of her medicines were missing.  They actually had to find them. So my question was, “If you had to find the medicine, was it administered to her while she was here?”  After checking the chart, it was discovered that she did not receive those medicines over the 3 days.
• Last but not least – I called the facility ahead of time to be sure of what to take for Gladys.  They did not use her night gowns, undershirts or toiletries.  I didn’t eve ask.  By then it was a mute point and I just wanted to get her home.

Customer Service

Even after we had to wait for the staff to prepare her discharge papers; found someone wandering the hall with her clothes; and wait for Gladys to be dressed I was annoyed but managed to keep my cool.  However, when they had to FIND her medicine and discovered that some of the medicines had not been administered, my temper rose but I managed to keep it under control.  Even though I didn’t raise my voice and managed to not call them idiots, my responses were sharp and comments were biting.

One of the reasons my temper began to rise was because of the head nurse’s response.  She kept telling me that this was not her wing so it wasn’t her fault; she was only trying to help out.  I knew it wasn’t her fault, but I didn’t care and that was not the right thing to say. We went round and round about the medicine.  Finally, I just shut up because I didn’t want to lose my temper.  Quite frankly, I didn’t care whose fault it was, I just wanted it fixed.

I work in ministry and I can’t count the number of times that I have apologized for something that wasn’t my fault.  It is so much more calming to say, “I’m sorry that this happened, let me see what I can do to help you.  I apologize for your inconvenience.”

The Up Side

Since I opened my online store, Caregivers Health Mart, I joined a networking group that provides services for the elderly. Before taking Gladys to the facility I talked to some of the people I met through the network and was told that Gladys would be fine for a few days but they wouldn’t advise it for long term care.

I think this facility has potential but the staff needs training in customer service and organizational skills.  It would benefit from a facelift.

This was our experience, what do you think?

The blog post that I wrote addresses a question that a lot of people ask me:  Since Gladys is not a blood relative, why do I take care of her?  Most people who know me know that my maternal instincts are lacking (thank God for my husband); I tend to be a little too serious at times; and I am basically a no nonsense person.  Doesn’t sound like a caregiver does it?

So if you’re curious about my Mother’s Day Reflections, why don’t you mosey on over to my other blog and take a gander at my thoughts.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Last weekend we took advantage of respite services offered by our hospice provider.  In order to receive the services we had to request a date and set it up in advance.  About a month ago, I gave them two sets of dates from which to work.  The social worker checked with the three nursing homes they use to see if beds were available for either of the dates provided.  One of the nursing homes had a bed available for my second choice, April 30 – May 2.  We took it.

Why We Opted For Respite Care

Most people use respite care to rest or to take a trip.  We used it to work.  Gladys is losing control of her hands; as a result, she drops a lot of food and spills a lot of drinks.  We decided it was time to pull up the carpet in her room and replace it with something that was easier to clean – linoleum.  We couldn’t do this with Gladys at home because she can’t walk up stairs and we wouldn’t have anyplace to put her while we worked.  So we decided on respite care.

The Plan

• Enlist the help of husband, daughter and daughter’s boyfriend
• Get a commitment from said family members to help for the three days
• Friday:  1) Take Gladys to the nursing home by 9:00 AM.  2) Remove all furniture and items from Gladys’ room and storage area.  3) Paint bedroom and storage area.
• Saturday:  1) Installers remove carpet; prep the floor, install linoleum and shoe mold.  2) We paint shoe mold and baseboards.  3) Let floor settle.
• Sunday:  1) Move furniture back in.  2) Assemble closet organizer.  3) convert storage area to a walk in closet.  4) Install new blinds and sheers.  5) Bring Gladys home.

Reflections

Even though we worked during our weekend of respite care, I was surprised at how restful those three days were.  Just as the definition says, it was a relief – a relief to not constantly check on Gladys; a relief to sleep through the night without listening for sounds coming from the baby monitor; a relief to get up in the morning and have a leisurely cup of coffee.  It was restful in a different kind of way.

I was apprehensive about leaving Gladys with strangers but it was comforting to know that there was a staff of nurses to take care of her.  I also thought I would go by each day to check on her but at the end of the day I was too tired from painting and moving furniture.

All in all, my plan for the weekend went well, and a lot was accomplished.  Next week I’ll give some feedback on the facility.