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Archive for the ‘Life Changes’ Category:
Welcome to My World – A Caregiver’s Frustration
Since we’ve been receiving hospice care, a nurse visits our home twice a week and we really appreciate those visits. Because of her declining mental and physical abilities, Gladys’ care is becoming increasingly frustrating. For the past few days, it has been very difficult for Gladys to stand up and walk. In fact, we don’t even take her to the bathroom anymore, we just try to get her to take the few steps to the bedside commode.
This past Monday our home health aid and the nurse arrived about the same time. They were surprised that it took both of them to get Gladys out of her chair and stand her up to her walker. Of course Gladys told the nurse that she felt fine and everything was going well. They looked at me, surprised at the effort that it took for both of them to help her up. I just looked at them and said “Welcome to My World.”
More change is in store because my husband, Fred, starts working next week. It will be an adjustment because he helps me a lot with Gladys. I have added another day for our sitter, so that will be some relief and allow me to run errands and do other things I need to do.
All we can do is take it one day at a time and do the best we can. It gets a little frustrating but so far we’re managing.
We Hired An In-Home Caregiver
In my last post I shared that Gladys’ adult day care had given us notice that they would no longer be able to accommodate her and I began looking for in-home care. We use the services of Hospice Advantage who had assigned us a social worker, Stephanie. When I told her about our situation, she sent me a list of agencies and private sitters. The agencies were just too expensive for us so I started calling the private sitters on the list.
I was very impressed with one of the sitters, Tami. I called her on Wednesday, checked her references on Thursday and interviewed her at my home on Saturday. Fred and I both like her. I also checked with Stephanie and asked how the private sitter list was comprised. It turns out that when Stephanie visits her hospice clients, she observes how the caregivers interact with their patients. If Stephanie is impressed, she adds them to her list.
We Hired Tami
We hired Tami. Today is the end of her third week with us and so far we are very pleased. Before we hired Tami, I called both of our daughters and told them about her background and her references. My oldest daughter Nichole, was concerned that she had only worked for two of the families for 4 months and 8 months. She wanted to know why “she couldn’t keep a job.” I told Nichole that her tenure with those families was short because the patients had died. Nichole was alarmed and said, “You don’t want to hire her, she might kill Aunt Gladys too.” I told Nichole to relax. Tami had primarily been a live-in caregiver who cared for terminally ill patients.
We Made An Agreement
An Internet search provided several contract samples. I used a contract from Agis.com and modified it to suit my needs. Tami works three days a week. In addition to routine caregiver duties she coaches Gladys through her physical therapy exercises and when the weather is pleasant, Tami puts Gladys in her wheel chair and walks her around the subdivision.
So far, we are very pleased with Tami. Gladys is receiving good care and we are comfortable having her in our home. More Updates later.
Related Posts: The Ever Changing Life of A Family Caregiver
A Caregivers Goals for 2010: Unlocking The Old Me
Taking My Life Back
Before I became a caregiver there were things I used to enjoy that have all but disappeared from my life. I realized this a few months ago when I went on vacation for the first time since I became Gladys’ caregiver. My life pretty much revolves around Gladys’ needs and I’ve neglected myself in many ways. That’s about to change.
The holidays gave me a chance to jump start some things that I want to bring back into my life. It’s amazing how little things can provide so much satisfaction. The following changes are being re-incorporated into my life.
Date Night
I haven’t been married for 38 years by ignoring my husband. Fridays used to be our date night. It’s something we started about 20 years ago and kept up until 2008. While we probably can’t make a weekly date, we can probably work in a date once a month. I just have to convince my daughter, Anita, to watch Gladys for us while we go out.
Love A Good Book
I love to read. Give me a good thriller or murder mystery and I’m a happy camper: Vince Flynn, Michael Connelly, Walter Mosley, JD Robb or Tom Clancy. Between Thanksgiving and New Years Eve, I read four novels – three JD Robb and one Michael Connelly. JD Robb is a recent author that I started reading and I’m trying to catch up on the Eve Dallas series. Fortunately I found a good second hand book store that also takes trade-ins. I didn’t get much else done, but I was content and eager to get back to my books.
My reading goal is at least one novel per month.
Food Network Anyone?
Until last month, it had been a while since I tried a new recipe. Over the past month I’ve tried at least six new recipes, including frying a turkey. I shared my new recipe adventures with my Facebook friends. It’s funny how so many friends responded to the cholesterol, calorie laden recipes but not a peep when I share the healthy ones. 
This goal is to try a new recipe at least twice a month.
Regular Vacations
This year I went on vacation alone and that was a stretch. Not because I can’t handle being alone (I enjoy alone time), but because my husband is semi retired and has not worked in about two years. In addition to that, my hours were cut just before Gladys came to stay with us. However, we’re going to work it out along with care for Gladys while we are gone.
Exercise of Any Kind
Just before Gladys came to live with us I started walking for exercise. It wasn’t much but it was something. Over the past year and a half I have become a bonafide couch potato and gained about 10 pounds. I’ve got to get back to walking. Also need to incorporate a stretching routine.
I believe all of these are doable. It’s not really a lot, it just takes some planning and time management.
What About You?
If you are a caregiver who has become stuck in a rut, I hope you will also take a look at some things that you can do to take your life back.
Comments? Feedback?
