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Archive for the ‘Life Changes’ Category:
New Caregivers’ Exhaustion - Down But Not Out!
When Gladys first arrived to live with us, I was not quite prepared for the exhaustion I was about to experience. It was much like when I brought my oldest daughter home from the hospital 35 years ago. I was constantly checking on her, I could hear every movement and sound that seemed different coming from her room.
The first week Gladys was here, I slept with the baby monitor by my bed turned up fairly high so I could hear if Gladys needed help. Unfortunately, I could also hear every move, every snore and every fly buzzing over the lamp. I bet I ran up and down those three flights of stairs at least six or seven times each night. By the third day I was exhausted, both physically and mentally and it didn’t help when Gladys fell out of the bed that first week. Fortunately, she was not injured.
Nikki kept telling me to turn the monitor off and go to sleep, that Gladys would be OK. She said when Gladys first came to live with her that she did the same thing until a nurse friend of her’s told her to turn the monitor off. I heard what Nikki was saying but I was afraid that Gladys would need help and no one would hear her, especially since Gladys is on the ground floor and we sleep on the third floor. At Nikki’s house when all was quiet, she could actually hear into Gladys’ room because she was only one flight up.
Gladys has been here now for two months. The baby monitor is still on but it is turned down and I have become immune to irrelevant noises. I do hear Gladys when she needs help and I go downstairs to assist her. Most nights I also go down to her room at least once to make sure she’s not too close to the edge of the bed. I’m sleeping better and am not exhausted - tired - but not exhausted.
I know I’m not the only person to experience this but I wonder how other people handle similar situations?
Dementia: What’s my name?
After about ten days we made an unexpected discovery. Gladys knows who I am but she does not know my name. We made this discovery while Nikki and I were watching tv and Gladys needed help with something so she called Nikki. Nikki looked at me and said, “There are three people in the house, why does she keep calling me?” After I gave it some thought, it occured to me that Gladys did not know my name.
Of course, Nikki didn’t believe me. She said that up until they left Philadelphia, Gladys kept asking “When are we going to Valerie’s house?” I told her that Gladys might have said it then, but I was certain that she couldn’t remember my name. So I checked and sure enough, she didn’t know my name, Fred’s or Anita’s name. She knows who we are but not our names.
Is this a temporary memory issue caused by so many recent changes? Is this the normal progression of dementia? If any of you have experienced anything similar with someone in your family, I sure would appreciate your feedback.
Caregiving: Wheel Chairs, Handicap Parking, Baby Monitors
The first week Gladys was here, I spent time learning routine care giver’s tasks: how to assemble and disassemble her wheel chair, how handicap parking works and why those lined spaces are next to the handicap parking space. I also developed a love-hate relationship with baby monitors.
Most of the time Gladys uses a walker, but when we go to the store or to church, she uses a wheel chair. In addition to learning to assemble, disassemble and lift the chair into the trunk of the car, I had to learn how to help Gladys into and out of the wheel chair; and how to transfer her from the wheel chair and into the car. It’s not difficult, but it takes time and patience.
I used to look at handicap parking spaces and wonder why those extra lined spaces were next to the parking space. I thought they just took up extra space that could accommodate another car. Now I understand that the extra space is there to accommodate a wheel chair or walker. Who knew, obviously, I didn’t.
The baby monitor is a whole different story. It doesn’t have anything to do with anyone else but me. Our house does not have an intercom system, so we use a baby monitor to make sure Gladys is ok. That’s where the love-hate relationship comes in. I love it because I sleep on the third floor of our townhouse and Gladys sleeps on the first floor. With the baby monitor I can tell what’s going on downstairs.
However, I can also hear a fly that is hovering over the baby monitor, Gladys snoring, the tv that was left on and everything else. Until I was able to differentiate the sounds, I was running up and down the stairs all night long. That’s where the hate part came in. But I’m learning and it’s all good.
