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Caregivers’ Legal Stuff: Bank Accounts, Pension, Social Security
One of the first things we needed to do was establish a new bank account for Gladys and transfer her pension and social security to a bank in Georgia. I actually started the process before Nikki and Gladys left Philadelphia but even though I have Gladys’ Power of Attorney, we couldn’t finish the process until Gladys arrived.
Because Georgia and Florida seem to have lots of scams and fraud involving the elderly, the bank requires physical verification of the identify of the person and have them sign some paperwork. So when Gladys got here we went to the bank a few days later and completed the process with the bank.
The staff at Washington Mutual Bank did a wonderful job of making Gladys feel comfortable and like she had been a long time valued customer. Gladys signed the paperwork and then we ordered new checks and finished all of the little details for banking.
We also had to take forms for the bank to fill out verify that they had met Gladys and that she had opened an account there. These forms were to have her pension checks sent to Georgia. The last bit of paperwork is for Social Security. That one is still in process. I have no idea how long it will take.
Caregiver’s Changing of the Guard
Nichole, my older daughter, became Gladys’ caregiver after her stroke in December 2005. Nichole was living in a suburb right outside of Philly and I was living in Georgia. At the time we thought Gladys would need some care for a few months and then she would be able to go back home. However, that’s not how things worked out. Fortunately, Nikki had a full finished basement and was able to install a handicap bathroom and we moved Gladys in with Nikki and her family.
For the past 2 1/2 years, Nikki has taken care of all of Gladys’ shopping, doctor’s appointments, prescriptions, therapy and paying her bills. Right now she knows Gladys and her quirks better than I know them. So I will actually have to reaquaint myself with Gladys and learn her likes and dislikes, many of which have changed since we lived together in the same house. Gladys is totally dependant upon Nikki and trusts her completely.
Nikki, along with her husband and step-daughters, have done a wonderful job of taking care of Gladys. Nikki was her primary caregiver, Troy took Gladys to Adult Day Care and Clarissa and Corrie helped with her medicine and meals. They also helped by staying home with Gladys for short periods of time.
So with this changing of the guard Nikki will have to teach me how to take care of my sister; how to identify her moods, things she will do when she is angry, bathroom habits, grooming habits . . . One of the main things that will be different for me is Gladys’ dementia. That will be the biggest challenge for me.
Fred and I have a lot of catching up to do and a lot of adjusting. For the past 10 years we have been empty nesters – coming and going as we please. Everything we do from now on will have to be planned around Gladys’ care and her schedule.
Today We Become Caregivers
Our job as caregivers begins today. Gladys and Nikki arrived safely about 2:30 PM on July 2, 2008. Nikki’s car is packed to the brim: clothes, shoes, walkers, wheel chair, potty chair, raised toilet seat, files of papers, Gladys’ tv and a host of other things to make Gladys feel at home.
Fred unpacked the car. We put everything in place and just sat around and talked for a while. Nikki will be here for about a month, to help us get Gladys situated and show me what to do.
Later that evening I prepared a nice family dinner. Since Gladys can’t walk upstairs to the dining room, we put up tv trays so we could all have dinner together. Of course, since I am the one taking pictures, I’m not in it.
Gladys seems to be ok with being here in Georgia. We began talking to her about the move in February so the move wouldn’t come as a shock and cause a lot of confusion for her. Since she has mild dementia, Gladys often forgets so we wanted to be consistent in mentioning the move and hope that she would remember and get used to the idea.
For this first night, Nikki slept downstairs with Gladys.
