A Caregiver's Journal provides information, insight, enlightenment and shared experiences for new caregivers and encouragement for long time caregivers. The focus of this blog is our transition from empty nesters to caregivers for my 81 year old god-sister, Gladys, a stroke survivor. RSS Subscribe to RSS

Dementia, The Elections and Voting

Immediately after we moved Gladys to Georgia it became quite apparent that she was aware that Barack  Obama was running for President of the United States.  But all she could remember to ask about was “the black man running for president.”  Because of her dementia, he doesn’t know that the year is 2008 and she can’t remember what day it is.  As far as the 2008 elections are concerned, she knows there is “a black man ” and “an old white haired man” running for president.  Her words, not mine.

I am a firm believer in voting.  I don’t care who your candidate is, I just believe everyone of voting age should cast their ballot.  With this in mind, I was faced with a difficult decision.  Should I let Gladys register to vote in Georgia?

If Gladys registered and voted, I would have to fill out her registration form, take her to the polls, go in the booth with her and cast her ballot for her.  I’m not even sure that I would have been allowed to do this.  I am absolutely sure that Gladys would have voted for Barack Obama.  The decision I made was what I believed to be one of ethics and integrity.  In good conscience, I could not register her to vote.

I came across a similar issue by Carol Bradley Bursack on Agingcare.com.  Here is an excerpt of her article, Should Aging Parents with Dementia Lose the Right to Vote:

As Mom’s dementia grew worse, I started to wonder a bit. Could I just let the election slip past? Would she notice? Where did her rights stop? I’d felt guilty when we stopped Dad’s voting, but there wasn’t as much gray area. He really had gotten past the point of awareness and decision making. With Mom, it was different.

I found that she was very aware it was election time, even if she couldn’t remember if my sister had come to visit or not, the Sunday before. I was also aware of how steadily dementia was eating into her dignity as a person and devouring of her decision making rights. I agonized over voting rights and whether she should do it.

However, until the last couple of years of her life, I kept helping her vote. Was I right? I knew her preferences. In hindsight, I probably should have had a third person help, but who but family would have known her past preferences and her political beliefs?  How would it have helped to have someone sit there as we discussed it? I’m not sure, but maybe I should have. What is done is done.

I don’t have an answer to this problem but I’m sure that Carol Bradley Bursack and I are not there only caregivers who have struggled with this issue.  As we prepare to vote tomorrow, I wonder what you think about this issue.  Let’s start a discussion.


Posted on : Nov 03 2008
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Posted under Caregiving, Dementia, Elder care |
 

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3 People have left comments on this post

Nov 4, 2008 - 10:11:28

Thanks for referring to my article!

I hope your readers will read the full piece, as there are many nuances.

It’s so hard to know when to make the decision, and the last years of my mother’s life - when she was no longer aware of issues - I stopped bringing her ballots. Same with my dad. Up until the time that they became unaware, I felt they had a rightto vote.

My mother’s vote was the complete mirror image of mine, and I guess I could have stopped that. But I knew how she wanted to vote, and I helped her fill in the circles she wanted, as she could no longer do that.

I did the same with an elderly friend who couldn’t see well, and brought a magnifying glass along, so he could study it. He trusted me, but I wanted to show him I filled in what he wanted. This, too, was the direct opposite of my beliefs (even more than my mother).

Caregivers have tough choices, and what rights elders lose - financial decisions, voting etc. - are tricky. You did a great job explaining your situation and I’m sure it will help others.
Carol Bradley Bursack
Minding Our Elders

Nov 4, 2008 - 03:11:13

Carol,

Thanks for the encouraging feedback. I’m sure there are others who both agree and disagree with this stance and sooner or later millions of people will have to make similar decisions as their aging loved ones are unable to decide for themselves.

I follow your blog and enjoy your articles.

Nov 5, 2008 - 09:11:03
Hattie said:

We took my MIL to vote for Kerry and also for the 2006 election. My husband went into the booth with her and helped her vote on the electronic voting machine.
And by the way:
OH HAPPY DAY. We have a wonderful new president now.