Subscribe to RSS
Five Things I Learned from Caregiving
Since becoming a caregiver for my god-sister, I have learned a few things and become more sensitive to aging issues. At 56 years old, I’m no spring chicken so I know what it’s like to slow down a little, lose some flexibility and stamina. However, my aging issues are minor compared to my sister’s.
Some of what I have learned and developed increased sensitivity to are:
- Slow Driving Seniors: I am no longer impatient with slow driving seniors. Just because I usually drive 10 miles over the speed limit doesn’t mean I need to be impatient with someone who is driving 10 miles under the speed limit. I just go around them and appreciate that they are driving within their comfort level and I’m glad they can still get around by themselves.
- Patience in Dressing: On a normal day I can get showered, hair combed, makeup done and dressed in 30 minutes. For the life of me, I could not understand why it took Gladys 1 1/2 hours to get dressed. That is until I saw the Xtreme Aging Workshop segment on the Today Show. Joint problems, vision problems and dexterity problems can add to slow movement.
- Patience in Eating: Similar to Patience in Dressing, joint and dexterity issues affect meal time. I have to do three things for Gladys at meal time: 1) cover her up to catch spills and accidents; 2) giver her utensils that have a larger handle and 3) use plastic drinking vessels because glass is too heavy.
- Handicapped Parking: Before becoming a caregiver, I had never parked in a handicapped space and I did not understand why those extra stripped spaces were next to handicapped parking spaces. Now I understand that those stripped spaces allow additional room to position wheel chairs and walkers. I learned the disadvantage to not having that extra space at Gladys’ doctor’s office. They don’t have those extra stripped spaces next to the handicapped parking, so if the lot is full, I have to stop in front of the office, let Gladys out and take her inside. Then I have to go back out and park the car.
- Handicapped Bathrooms: I must admit, I have used handicapped bathrooms, especially at the airport. The handicapped bathroom had enough space for me to move around comfortably with my purse, coat, briefcase and suitcase. A few months ago I had to take Gladys to the hospital for some tests. While we were there Gladys had to go to the bathroom. We encountered several problems: 1) there was furniture on the wall opposite the bathroom so I had to move the furniture in order to get Gladys’ wheel chair through the door. 2) someone was in the handicap stall and Gladys couldn’t wait; so now we had to leave the wheel chair outside the stall while I tried to maneuver Gladys into a stall with no hand rail and no room for two people. Needless to say, I no longer use the handicapped stall in the bathroom. You never know when someone who needs that stall will come in.
Of course, I have learned more than these five things, but I think they are enough for now. What would you add to this list?
Related Reading:
Caregiving: Wheel Chairs, Handicapped Parking and Baby Monitors
Caregiver’s Check List
4 People have left comments on this post
Oct 28, 2008 - 12:10:17About number one..I can kind of agree with you except that if the person is on a one lane road where I have no option of passing them. This can be really frustrating. There is a speed limit for a reason and if they cannot drive the speed limit, that can be dangerous.
So the question is, why can’t they go the speed limit? Doesn’t that prove that they may not be able to handle the speed on the world?
Hi Jim, I struggled a little with that one and did not think about a one lane road. That would frustrate me too. I was thinking more about people like my Mom who is 78, drives a little slow and stays off the Interstate.
Thanks for you post. Like you, caregiving taught me to slow down and put myself in “another’s shoes.” I learned to be more patient and understanding. In one way, it took me back to when my children were 2 and 3 and were never in a hurry. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I enjoyed walking a little slower and not being able to rush my mom through a store.
I wrote a vignette titled, “When I Miss Her,” about going to the grocery store now that my mom has died–about missing what I once thought was a bother.
@Carol - Looking back over the little things in life often gives us a better perspective.