Living With MS: Taking Care of Mike Part 2

This post was submitted by Veronica Keyes. Please see her earlier post: Living With MS: Taking Care of Mike.

Homage to My Hero Mike

It has been two years and eight months since my husband, Mike Keyes, was admitted to a nursing home. During that time I have seen how MS takes hold of a person and refuses to let go. I wanted to write this post is to show the changes in Mike’s life.

Mike the Handy Man

Mike was not a college grad, however, he could hang with the best of them. He was well read and diverse in many subjects and areas. He never received formal training for electronics yet he could fix anything. He made the speakers for his DJ system from old parts – he was definitely electronically inclined.

To put a bike together was no challenge for him, in the early years of marriage, Mike made a functioning bike from old bike scraps. Many years ago our neighbor, Mrs. Mae had a broken window fan she didn’t want to throw away. Mike came to the rescue and somehow got her fan to work. Before we relocated to Georgia in 2005, Mike implemented the audio/technical system at our church with a minimal budget and was entrusted to maintain it for many years. During the Christmas season he would purchase items for the children he had to put together. It was a challenge for him to do it without instructions. I frequently jest with Mike calling him the jack of all trade and master of all. He proved that to be true each time.

Mike the Provider

Mike was not a lazy man, throughout our marriage he held 2 jobs and always had time for me and our 3 children. In 2000 he worked as a phlebotomist and a certified nurse assistant. His ultimate plan was to become a registered nurse, but that dream was halted when he was diagnosed with MS. Mike would not let that prevent him from providing for his family. He had another plan he went to school for real estate, shortly thereafter he became too ill to actually sell homes.

Mike Today

Today our lives have changed. I visit Mike in the nursing home and it’s difficult for us to talk. We look at each other and our eyes speak more than Mike and I speak. It’s as if our eyes are feasting on our memories. Our conversations are limited because most of the times he is unaware that he has just asked the same question several times. What was once so easy for him to do is now a major chore that seems unattainable – the art of holding a conversation. The joy of plucking my brain or sharing his wealth of knowledge has dwindled to “Ronnie, how are you and the children?” Occasionally, he will surprise me and tell me he is so proud of me. I wait thinking today we will have a conversation of substance. Then as I began to get excited he regresses to “So Ronnie, how are you and the children.” There for all to see, the cruel face of MS reveals itself again.

Throughout this post, I used the word “was” because MS has taken Michael away, and it has given me Mike. I don’t want anyone to feel I’ve abandoned Mike. Not at all, I have to accept that Michael is different. I am grieving Michael and embracing Mike.  Yes, it is a coping mechanism for me. I don’t apologize for that because I have to do what keep me sane and focused.

Mike and I realized many years ago we were put together for me a reason. We often joke I was put in his life to tell him about Jesus Christ and he was put in my life to spoil me rotten. It has worked for us we are truly great friends and we balance each other.

Be encouraged.

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