Your day may come, and so may mine, Gladys! My MIL very seldom had accidents. Even in her last days she would get on the commode. She did not get up at night but needed to get on the commode first thing in the a.m.

I have been a caregiver for my mother and Down’s brother for over 5 years now. Still, the challenges seem to grow daily, particularly now that her dementia is progressing. Until recently, I have avoided cleaning up her messes, they weren’t often and my sister would give mom a shower (mom was a very modest person and I didn’t feel comfortable pressing that issue and I’ve not been a parent so I haven’t had the practice). But about a month ago she fell after getting up from the toilet and the fall caused some additional confusion, so we started putting Depends on her (a year ago she complained of the discomfort). Now I have to clean her daily and she is a willing participant. The gift I am given here is the intimacy I have come to share with her. I am grateful to have the opportunity to be there for her incontinence or no.

Valerie, thank you so much for sharing Gladys’ challenges and what you’re going through. You have so much patience. You’re willing to do anything for her. And it gives me hope each time I read about what’s going on here.

We live in a house in which you must walk up the stairs to get to the main floor. My dad has been deathly afraid of those stairs, even though my husband very easily helps him up the stairs whenever my dad needs to accompany us. He literally freezes up and panics. We’ve been avoiding getting a stair lift, mainly because of the cost. But the problem it causes is that as social as he has been, he’s not been able to get out and socialize, and I feel terrible about that. Not sure what where we’re going with that.

Thank you for discussing this delicate matter. I take care of my mother, who has degeneration of the cerebellum. She really can’t do anything for herself.

Gladys probably removes the Depends because they get hot and don’t “breathe”. Having said this, I am at a loss to suggest a more comfortable alternative.

Hi Valerie – I also admire your patience with Gladys. We use a washable pad also on my mother’s bed and on the one she sleeps in at our house. She continues to refuse Depends however always wearw the heavy overnight pads. She also takes Enblex – that’s probably spelled incorrectly. Also – thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment! Judy.

@Kwiz – thanks for the complement but “patience” is really not my greatest virtue but I am working on it. You might want to check with Social Services and see if Medicare will absorb the cost of the lift. We had one for Gladys when she still lived in Philadelphia and Medicare paid for the stair lift.

@Jim – I’m sure your mother appreciates everything that you do for her. She is blessed to have such a loving son.

@Hattie – Gladys goes to the bathroom at least once every hour, every 2-3 hours at night. I suppose it’s because of the diuretics she on.

@Judy – I enjoyed your site and will be back.

I wonder if Gladys feels overheated during the night? And that’s why she peels out of her underwear? (She probably doesn’t even know why she does it.) I bet those Depends may hold the heat, too, under the covers.

RhondaL, you’re the second person who mentioned that she may be too hot. Unfortunately, she doesn’t remember, so I guess we’ll never know.