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Posts Tagged ‘caregiver burnout’
A Caregivers Goals for 2010: Unlocking The Old Me
Taking My Life Back
Before I became a caregiver there were things I used to enjoy that have all but disappeared from my life. I realized this a few months ago when I went on vacation for the first time since I became Gladys’ caregiver. My life pretty much revolves around Gladys’ needs and I’ve neglected myself in many ways. That’s about to change.
The holidays gave me a chance to jump start some things that I want to bring back into my life. It’s amazing how little things can provide so much satisfaction. The following changes are being re-incorporated into my life.
Date Night
I haven’t been married for 38 years by ignoring my husband. Fridays used to be our date night. It’s something we started about 20 years ago and kept up until 2008. While we probably can’t make a weekly date, we can probably work in a date once a month. I just have to convince my daughter, Anita, to watch Gladys for us while we go out.
Love A Good Book
I love to read. Give me a good thriller or murder mystery and I’m a happy camper: Vince Flynn, Michael Connelly, Walter Mosley, JD Robb or Tom Clancy. Between Thanksgiving and New Years Eve, I read four novels – three JD Robb and one Michael Connelly. JD Robb is a recent author that I started reading and I’m trying to catch up on the Eve Dallas series. Fortunately I found a good second hand book store that also takes trade-ins. I didn’t get much else done, but I was content and eager to get back to my books.
My reading goal is at least one novel per month.
Food Network Anyone?
Until last month, it had been a while since I tried a new recipe. Over the past month I’ve tried at least six new recipes, including frying a turkey. I shared my new recipe adventures with my Facebook friends. It’s funny how so many friends responded to the cholesterol, calorie laden recipes but not a peep when I share the healthy ones. 
This goal is to try a new recipe at least twice a month.
Regular Vacations
This year I went on vacation alone and that was a stretch. Not because I can’t handle being alone (I enjoy alone time), but because my husband is semi retired and has not worked in about two years. In addition to that, my hours were cut just before Gladys came to stay with us. However, we’re going to work it out along with care for Gladys while we are gone.
Exercise of Any Kind
Just before Gladys came to live with us I started walking for exercise. It wasn’t much but it was something. Over the past year and a half I have become a bonafide couch potato and gained about 10 pounds. I’ve got to get back to walking. Also need to incorporate a stretching routine.
I believe all of these are doable. It’s not really a lot, it just takes some planning and time management.
What About You?
If you are a caregiver who has become stuck in a rut, I hope you will also take a look at some things that you can do to take your life back.
Comments? Feedback?
Family Caregivers Must Take A Break
Round Trip Airfare to Nassau: $324
Cab Ride to Harborside Resort: $33
Seven Days of Solitude: Priceless
For the past year and a half I’ve been taking care of Gladys. Last year I didn’t take a vacation. The only breaks I had were the one or two days a month that my daughters would give me and those were usually partial days. When I became a caregiver, I was told to join a support group and make sure that I made time for myself. I did not join a support group (not my style), instead I began blogging. I also did not make a lot of time for myself.
I read many articles and reports on caregiver burnout and posted information and videos on this blog about burnout. Without a real break I was quickly headed for burnout. So this year my husband and I decided that no matter what, I was taking a vacation.
The Timeshare
Five years ago Fred and I purchased a timeshare at Harborside Resort on Paradise Island, Bahamas. We purchased a two bedroom lock-out that sleeps eight. The intent was to have enough space for ourselves, daughters, son-in-law and grandchildren to vacation together. That family vacation has yet to happen because shortly after we purchased the timeshare Gladys had a stroke and my daughter began taking care of her.
The Challenges
- My husband is semi-retired. Like many baby boomers, he was one of many people who was downsized right when he was eligible for early retirement. For the past few years he has been either under employed or unemployed.
- Right before Gladys came to live with us, my salary/hours were cut in half.
- I’m not comfortable, yet, leaving Gladys with someone for 24 hours a day.
- My younger daughter canceled so I would have to go on vacation alone.
The Selfless Husband
This year we got a tax refund and Fred insisted I use it for a vacation. He knew I needed to get away. So I took the money, purchased a plane ticket and began to plan my get-away.
The Plan
- Fred stayed at home to fill the role of primary caregiver.
- I typed up a document called Taking Care of Gladys that spelled out her daily routine, how and when medications were given. It also spelled out how we give her showers, where her clothes, linens, etc. are located.
- Gladys medical information, medicare care card, prescription and supplemental insurance cards were left in her HandiRecord on her dresser.
- Nichole, my oldest daughter and Gladys’ first caregiver, came to Georgia and took care of Gladys for the first four days of my vacation.
- I worked through an agency and hired a caregiver to come to the house Tuesday – Friday from 8 AM – Noon to get Gladys up, showered and dressed every morning. It also gave Fred some time to do some things for himself.
- Anita, my youngest daughter, came over Tuesday – Friday evenings to get Gladys changed into her night clothes and into bed.
The Vacation
At the end of September I took a week long vacation to the Bahamas. Just me. I invited a few girlfriends to join me but the timing wasn’t convenient for them. Did I enjoy myself? Yes! Did I get lots of rest? Yes! Did I run around like crazy? No! My vacation consisted of reading and resting. I took three novels and read every one of them. The pool, beach and books were my constant companions.
Did it bother me that I was on vacation alone? Heck no! I was in my element. I love a good book and I love solitude. The value of this trip: PRICELESS!
How I Almost Burned Myself Out – Part 2
Last week I wrote the first part of a blog post titled, “How I Almost Burned Myself Out Over An Alzheimer’s and Elder Care Workshop.” Today I’m going to tell the rest of the story.
Big Stress
Three weeks before the workshop I had two major problems. 1) Only two people were registered and 2) two of my speakers pulled out due to a conflict of interest with a vendor. Needless to say, I was stressed but determined. When the speakers decided to pull out I had conflicting thoughts. “Do I cancel the workshop?” and “If I go ahead with the workshop, where do I find two other speakers to fill these open slots?”
Quite a few people told me to just cancel the workshop rather than lose money. But to me, that was not a good option and here’s why:
- The workshop space was paid for and non-refundable at this point
- The workshop had been posted on this blog and another of my web sites and both sites had lots of workshop clicks so I knew people were looking into it
- It had been tweeted for several weeks
- I had put ads in two community newspapers that target older adults
- I had mailed out information packets to adult day care centers and Alzheimer’s groups
- Over 800 postcards had been mailed out, handed out and placed in high traffic areas
- Materials had been printed and binders purchased
Because of the way information was distributed, I didn’t know how to get the word out that the workshop had been canceled. And, everything except the refreshments had already been paid for, so what was I going to lose? I would lose my reputation.
Had I canceled the workshop, and people showed up at the door, it would generate negative publicity and I didn’t want that so I took a risk.
The Most Important Thing
The most important thing to me was to get useful information to other caregivers. Period! If I had to eat the cost, then so be it. I knew there were caregivers who needed the information and I wanted to be a helpful resource to the community of caregivers. With that in mind, I did several things to get this show on the road:
- The workshop fee was waived and the change posted on both web sites
- I did a free radio interview the week before the workshop
- My friends who work in ministry were contacted to let their congregations know that the fee had been waived
What About Expenses?
My friends came into play. I sent out e-mails asking some of my friends to make a $25 donations to be a Caregivers Friend. I put a link on the web sites for donations. Each donors name or the name of their business and contact information would be listed in our Resource Binder that each participant received. For business owners, it was a business expense. That last minute appeal generated enough income to pay about 60% of my expenses.
The Results
I found a gerontologist who replaced both speakers who pulled out. She was excellent. In addition to being an excellent speaker and resource, she is a caregiver for her parents and brother. We also had representatives from Medicare and Medicaid to help us understand those twin balls of confusion.
During the week preceding the workshop, twenty people registered. We had five people register at the door. So, all turned out well and the workshop participants enjoyed themselves and gained lots of valuable information.
I don’t know if the last minute registrations were because of the economy, lack of name recognition or lack of interest but I’m glad we had the workshop and plan to host another one next year. I know there’s a need and hopefully by next year, I’ll have more insight and more participants.
I would love to hear your comments and opinions on how to generate more interest and participants.
Next Post: Notes from the workshop.
