Caregiver Respite | A Caregiver's Journal

Family Caregivers Must Take A Break

Round Trip Airfare to Nassau: $324
Cab Ride to Harborside Resort: $33
Seven Days of Solitude: Priceless

For the past year and a half I’ve been taking care of Gladys. Last year I didn’t take a vacation. The only breaks I had were the one or two days a month that my daughters would give me and those were usually partial days. When I became a caregiver, I was told to join a support group and make sure that I made time for myself. I did not join a support group (not my style), instead I began blogging. I also did not make a lot of time for myself.

I read many articles and reports on caregiver burnout and posted information and videos on this blog about burnout. Without a real break I was quickly headed for burnout. So this year my husband and I decided that no matter what, I was taking a vacation.

The Timeshare

Five years ago Fred and I purchased a timeshare at Harborside Resort on Paradise Island, Bahamas. We purchased a two bedroom lock-out that sleeps eight. The intent was to have enough space for ourselves, daughters, son-in-law and grandchildren to vacation together. That family vacation has yet to happen because shortly after we purchased the timeshare Gladys had a stroke and my daughter began taking care of her.

The Challenges

My husband is semi-retired. Like many baby boomers, he was one of many people who was downsized right when he was eligible for early retirement. For the past few years he has been either under employed or unemployed.
Right before Gladys came to live with us, my salary/hours were cut in half.
I’m not comfortable, yet, leaving Gladys with someone for 24 hours a day.
My younger daughter canceled so I would have to go on vacation alone.

The Selfless Husband

This year we got a tax refund and Fred insisted I use it for a vacation. He knew I needed to get away. So I took the money, purchased a plane ticket and began to plan my get-away.

The Plan

Fred stayed at home to fill the role of primary caregiver.
I typed up a document called Taking Care of Gladys that spelled out her daily routine, how and when medications were given. It also spelled out how we give her showers, where her clothes, linens, etc. are located.
Gladys medical information, medicare care card, prescription and supplemental insurance cards were left in her HandiRecord on her dresser.
Nichole, my oldest daughter and Gladys’ first caregiver, came to Georgia and took care of Gladys for the first four days of my vacation.
I worked through an agency and hired a caregiver to come to the house Tuesday – Friday from 8 AM – Noon to get Gladys up, showered and dressed every morning. It also gave Fred some time to do some things for himself.
Anita, my youngest daughter, came over Tuesday – Friday evenings to get Gladys changed into her night clothes and into bed.

The Vacation

At the end of September I took a week long vacation to the Bahamas. Just me. I invited a few girlfriends to join me but the timing wasn’t convenient for them. Did I enjoy myself? Yes! Did I get lots of rest? Yes! Did I run around like crazy? No! My vacation consisted of reading and resting. I took three novels and read every one of them. The pool, beach and books were my constant companions.

Did it bother me that I was on vacation alone? Heck no! I was in my element. I love a good book and I love solitude. The value of this trip: PRICELESS!