Are You Prepared to Care for Aging Family Members?

If you are 45 or older, chances are that sometime in the future, you may be faced with taking care of an aging family member.  Are you prepared to care for aging family members?  Even more-so, are you prepared to care for an aging person with severe physical limitations and dementia or Alzheimer’s?

During the ’60’s and 70’s I was a big fan of Tim Conway’s “Old Man” character on the Carol Burnett Show.  I laughed at the old man as he shuffled his feet and moved in tiny little steps.  It seemed to take him forever to move a few feet.  I had no idea that as I became a caregiver that those shuffling feet and tiny steps would become a part of my life.  Compared to Gladys, Tim Conway’s character was power walking.

Some of the changes you may need to prepare for as a caregiver are listed below.

• Changes to Your Home:  If at all possible, a bedroom and bathroom on the first level of your home is ideal.  Many aging people have problems climbing stairs.  For physical limitations, you will also need to modify your bathroom with handrails, elevated toilet seats and a walk in shower equipped with a shower seat, a hand held shower kit and slide bar.  Your doors should also be wide enough to accommodate wheel chairs and walkers.
• Time Management:  Once you become a caregiver, time management is crucial.  In addition to additional responsibilities at home, time needs to be managed for doctors appointments, physical therapy, picking up prescriptions, transport to day care . . .
• Family Support:  If you don’t have family and friends who will relieve you, you won’t have a social life, you won’t get any rest and you will be a candidate for caregiver burnout.
• Patience:  Once you master the patience quotient, start looking for your caregiver’s nomination to sainthood.  Older people, especially with physical limitations, move very slowly.  It can literally be like watching something in slow motion.  I didn’t really understand until I saw the Xtreme Aging Workshop Video.  Telling them to hurry up doesn’t make them move faster, it just frustrates them because they are moving as fast as they can.  Another factor in doing things slowly is dementia.  Dementia can cause your aging family member to forget how to perform normal routine things that we take for granted.
• Medicare and Medicaid:  Understanding these fraternal twins is akin to understanding the Nightmare on Elm Street.  Just like I don’t understand why anyone still lives on Elm Street, I don’t understand how Medicare works.  There a so many options that are not easy to understand.  When you get through that maze, give me a call.
• Legal Issues:  An assortment of legal documents need to be addressed:  living will, power of attorney, paying bills, checking account . . .
• Resources:  There are many resources available for aging seniors and family caregivers.  This site lists some that you can use to get started, there are many others out there.
• Disability Parking Permit:  If your aging family member has difficulty walking or uses a wheel chair, you can apply for a disabled persons parking permit through your county office.  In Georgia, I got mine at the same place where driver’s licenses are issued.  Some states, including Georgia, require a statement or prescription from your doctor.
• Emergency Supplies:  Depending on the needs of your aging family member you may need to keep a tote bag with emergency supplies.  Some of the things I keep in my car, in the wheel chair backpack and the walker tote are:  extra Depends, baby wipes, cotton balls (for nose bleeds) hand sanitizer, paper towels and tissues.  Your needs may be different, these just happen to be the things I carry.

I hope this has been helpful and has given you something to think about.  As you think of additional things, let us know in the comment section.

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Merry Christmas from Our Caregiving Family to Yours

Valerie, Gladys and Fred

This is our first holiday season as caregivers - it will be a quiet one.  We don’t have much planned, just some family time and some down time for a few days.  Our oldest daughter, Nichole, who was Gladys’ first caregiver, is trying to fly down for a few days to spend a little time with us.  On Saturday Fred, Nikki and  Anita will drive up to Tennessee for the weekend to visit with Fred’s family.  Gladys and I will stay in Georgia.

When I was a child, most of my Christmases were spent with my god-mother, Lessie Belyeu.  Affectionately called Big Mom, she was Gladys’ mother and the woman who raised me until I was 11 years old.  I remember the Christmas trees that touched the ceiling, the smell of cookies and cakes permeating the air, the roasting turkeys in the oven and all of the people who would gather at our house on Cambridge Street.  I have wonderful childhood Christmas memories.

As my children were growing up we had lots of fun and created our own holiday legacies.  We still cook a big holiday meal but my children are adults and our family is spread out over several states. We keep in touch and visit when we can.

The Johnson/Rooney family wish you a safe and happy holiday season.  Enjoy your families and create many happy holiday  memories.

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Avoiding Caregiver Sleep Depravation

For the past three nights I have been up somewhere between 2:30 and 4:00 AM attending to Gladys.  She is having trouble lifting her arms and has not been able to adjust her clothing very well.  As a result she wets her gown when she goes to the bathroom during the night.

Tuesday and Wednesday night I was able to go back to sleep for a little while but last night I couldn’t, so I got up and worked on my new blog, www.YourMinistryHelper.com. I know, that’s a shameless plug but what do you expect from someone who is sleep deprived?

Fortunately, or unfortunately, I am only working two days a week now so I am off today and can probably catch a nap after Fred takes Gladys to day care.  Otherwise I would have to go to work to get some rest :-).

Sometime today I am going shopping to see if I can find some night shirts that are kind of short to see if that will help. I hate to shop anywhere near the Christmas season, so that will be a traumatic experience.  I called Nikki yesterday about this and she said putting pajamas on Gladys is worse than the gowns.

Wait, I think I just had an epiphany - since I like to sleep in pajama bottoms and a tank top, I’ll just put Gladys in the pajama tops.

Wow, you guys are a great support group! Thanks!

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