The Ever Changing Life of A Family Caregiver

It’s been a month or so since I posted here and a lot has happened.  Life in general is full of change and unexpected occurrences.   Those of us who take care of family members with Alzheimer’s disease or dementia are very familiar with change.  We’ve had a full schedule recently – car problems, job issues and most importantly caregiver issues.  We have to find new care options for Gladys.

Car Issues

We all know that car problems occur when we least expect them or are the least prepared to pay for them.  Over the past two months we had the key problem that I talked about in the previous post.  That problem was more frustrating than anything and unreasonably expensive.  Just before the key problem we had to replace the front struts.  Now it’s the catalytic converter.

Job Issues

A lot has been going on at the church.  Recent staff changes has caused all of us to pitch in more to make sure things don’t fall through the cracks.

Caregiver Issues

Last month Gladys’ adult day care told me that they didn’t think they would be able to accommodate Gladys much longer.  She was beginning to require too much care.

• she needs help sitting down and getting up
• she needs help going to the bathroom and adjusting her clothes
• she’s getting confused at mealtime and forgets how to use her utensils or thinks her banana is a fork
• she’s moving extremely slow
• she’s not participating in activities because she keeps falling asleep

Last week the day care called and said that April 30th would have to be Gladys’ last day.

When I got the first call, I began to explore our care options and possible funding assistance.  Unfortunately, her income just meets the cut off amount to qualify for assistance.

Hospice Help

About nine months ago I met a young lady from Hospice Advantage who told me to contact her if I ever needed any help.  Like so many other people, I thought hospice only took care of people who were dying.  Not So!  I contacted the young lady, told her my situation.  This is what happened:

• a nurse came out to evaluate Gladys (she qualified for services)
• a nurse visits twice a week to check Gladys’ vitals and her overall condition
• a home health aid comes by three times a week to bathe, dress and groom Gladys
• they supply her disposable briefs, disposable underpads, perineal wash, dry skin cream and some of her medications
• a social worker was assigned to assist us
• we have access to an on-call nurse 24 hours/day
• they provide 5 days of respite care per quarter
• gave us a list of recommended agencies and private caregivers

The services offered by hospice don’t resolve daily care issues but the services they provide are a big help and free up some finances.

Care options

• Quit my job and take care of Gladys full-time
• Hire an unemployed friend or church member to take care of Gladys
• Employ the services of an agency that provides CNA’s and trained caregivers
• Employ the services of an independent CNA or trained caregiver

Here’s where we are with care options:  1) I need my job; 2) hiring a friend or church member may not work out and potentially damage relationships; 3) agencies offer a good service but are too expensive (for us) for long term care.  That brings us to 4) employ an independent caregiver.

I went through the list provided by hospice and called for rates.  I contacted the agencies and the private sitters.  I was very impressed with one of the private sitters and contacted her references.  She is primarily a live-in hospice caregiver but I am only looking for 3 days per week.  Her previous clients gave her outstanding recommendations.

We will interview her this afternoon.  I’ll keep you posted.

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