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Mother’s Day Reflections
This year I wrote a post on Mother’s Day Reflections but it is on my other blog – Your Ministry Helper. To be perfectly honest, I didn’t feel like writing two blog posts 
The blog post that I wrote addresses a question that a lot of people ask me: Since Gladys is not a blood relative, why do I take care of her? Most people who know me know that my maternal instincts are lacking (thank God for my husband); I tend to be a little too serious at times; and I am basically a no nonsense person. Doesn’t sound like a caregiver does it?
So if you’re curious about my Mother’s Day Reflections, why don’t you mosey on over to my other blog and take a gander at my thoughts.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Our First Weekend of Respite Care
Respite care is the provision of short-term, temporary relief to those who are caring for family members who might otherwise require permanent placement in a facility outside the home. (definition from Wikipedia)
Last weekend we took advantage of respite services offered by our hospice provider. In order to receive the services we had to request a date and set it up in advance. About a month ago, I gave them two sets of dates from which to work. The social worker checked with the three nursing homes they use to see if beds were available for either of the dates provided. One of the nursing homes had a bed available for my second choice, April 30 – May 2. We took it.
Why We Opted For Respite Care
Most people use respite care to rest or to take a trip. We used it to work. Gladys is losing control of her hands; as a result, she drops a lot of food and spills a lot of drinks. We decided it was time to pull up the carpet in her room and replace it with something that was easier to clean – linoleum. We couldn’t do this with Gladys at home because she can’t walk up stairs and we wouldn’t have anyplace to put her while we worked. So we decided on respite care.
The Plan
- Enlist the help of husband, daughter and daughter’s boyfriend
- Get a commitment from said family members to help for the three days
- Friday: 1) Take Gladys to the nursing home by 9:00 AM. 2) Remove all furniture and items from Gladys’ room and storage area. 3) Paint bedroom and storage area.
- Saturday: 1) Installers remove carpet; prep the floor, install linoleum and shoe mold. 2) We paint shoe mold and baseboards. 3) Let floor settle.
- Sunday: 1) Move furniture back in. 2) Assemble closet organizer. 3) convert storage area to a walk in closet. 4) Install new blinds and sheers. 5) Bring Gladys home.
Reflections
Even though we worked during our weekend of respite care, I was surprised at how restful those three days were. Just as the definition says, it was a relief – a relief to not constantly check on Gladys; a relief to sleep through the night without listening for sounds coming from the baby monitor; a relief to get up in the morning and have a leisurely cup of coffee. It was restful in a different kind of way.
I was apprehensive about leaving Gladys with strangers but it was comforting to know that there was a staff of nurses to take care of her. I also thought I would go by each day to check on her but at the end of the day I was too tired from painting and moving furniture.
All in all, my plan for the weekend went well, and a lot was accomplished. Next week I’ll give some feedback on the facility.
It’s A Family Affair
It’s been almost two years since we started taking care of Gladys. We have had our share of good days and bad days. We’ve had many moments of laughter and times when we just wanted to scream. The one thing that has been consistent in our caregiving is teamwork. It’s something that I cherish and it’s something that I’m well aware that some families don’t have when it comes to taking care of elderly family members.
Our normal morning routine is: I wake Gladys up, get her showered, dressed and hair combed. Fred prepares her breakfast, takes it to her room, gives Gladys her morning medicine and then her breakfast. The routine isn’t perfect because sometimes we disagree on what he prepares or the amount of food he gives Gladys. Sometimes I want him to give her yogurt with her breakfast but since he doesn’t like yogurt, he won’t give it to Gladys either. So we have basically come to an agreement – if he feeds her, I can’t tell him what to do. So yogurt usually ends up being one of her snacks or she’ll get yogurt when I fix her breakfast, which is usually once or twice a week.
Gladys has a good appetite and looks forward to every meal. On Saturdays she often gets one of her favorite meals – cinnamon, raisin bagels, cream cheese, coffee and yogurt. When she sees the bagel she starts singing the Campbell Soup song, “mmm, mmm, good.” Breakfast today was oatmeal, prunes and a glass of milk. I thought she had too many prunes but I didn’t say anything. I thought about slipping a few of them out of the bowl but I didn’t.
