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Posts Tagged ‘Dementia’
Elder Care: Fast Decline Can Catch You Off Guard
In April I wrote a post about Gladys’ declining mental and physical capabilities. At that time the adult day care she was attending, informed us that they wouldn’t be able to keep her as a client past the end of the month. Since then, it’s been four and a half months of constant change. We are in the season of elder care where it’s become very difficult.
Gladys’ decline has progressed so rapidly that it caught us off guard. We expected decline but not so much in such a short period of time. Initially, I hired our sitter, Tami, to come for three days a week – the two days that I work and an extra day so I could run some errands. However, because of the rapid change in Gladys’ condition, I added another day at the end of July. By October, I expect to have Tami coming five days a week.
Three weeks ago, Gladys could walk about 15 steps. Those steps were very slow and unsteady. Two weeks ago those 15 steps became about six steps. Today she can’t walk at all. There are also other areas of decline that have taken place since April:
- She can’t stand
- She cannot sit up without assistance
- She can’t roll or turn from side to side
- Her left hand is claw-like and her right hand is on it’s way
- She can only feed herself finger food
- She can’t use a fork or hold a cup
- She has difficulty swallowing her medicine
- She hallucinates
Hospice ordered a Hoya lift that we use to move Gladys from her bed to her recliner. I don’t know what we would do without the lift because trying to move her is like moving dead weight. It’s impossible to explain to Gladys that we need to roll her so we can change her diaper, bathe her or change her clothes. She just doesn’t understand instructions.
Dealing with Gladys now is very frustrating for several reasons: first because she doesn’t understand what’s going on; second because she has no cartilage so it’s very painful when we move her; third because she resists and pushes against us when we try to move her; fourth because she fusses and wants to know “why are you doing this to me;” and fifth because she has no idea that she can’t do any of the things that I mentioned above. She thinks that she if fully functional.
So far I still handle my frustrations with humor. After I walk away, about 30 minutes later I can still laugh at the absurdity of what Gladys has said or done. Just yesterday, Gladys was fussing at me and I fussed back at her. My husband asked, “Why are you trying to reason with her? You know she doesn’t understand.” I said to him “I know that but it helps me get it off my chest. Plus, I know that five minutes later, she won’t remember any of this?” We both had a good laugh, and I felt better.
Related Posts:
The Ever Changing Life of A Family Caregiver
Dementia, the Sneaky Thief
Dementia is mental disorder that causes memory loss, a decline in intellectual and language skills, difficulties with motor skills and judgement. It can be caused by a variety of diseases or conditions. In Gladys’ case, her dementia was the result of a massive stroke, heart attack and seizures that occurred in a very short time span.
Gladys has lived with us now for two years, over which my family and I have witnessed her steady decline. At first her symptoms declined gradually but in the past four months it has been difficult to keep up with her mental and physical changes.
Why I Call Dementia a Sneaky Thief
I started calling dementia a sneaky thief about six months ago when Gladys could no longer go the the bathroom without assistance. It was as though someone snuck into her room and stole a life skill that so many of us take for granted: pull down pants, sit on commode, use toilet, stand up, pull up pants. A simple life skill that disappeared like a thief in the night.
At that time, Gladys still remembered to go to the bathroom but she would sit on the commode with her pants still up. She had no idea that she had not performed the necessary task of pulling her pants down. Dementia stole her ability to reason.
Right now dementia is just waiting to snatch away a few more of Gladys’ life skills that are teetering on the cusp of disability:
- swallowing medicine
- standing and walking
- feeding herself
- use of her left arm and leg
A thief is someone who steals something from someone else with the intent of keeping it (or selling it). Over time, dementia steals so many of our life skills. Simple things that we take for granted – things we do without thinking.
These are just a few of the things that my family deals with. If you are a caregiver, what has the sneaky thief stolen from your loved one?
Note: Image of the brain from http://faculty.washington.edu
The Soothing Effects of Music on Dementia Patients
As I write this post my god-sister, Gladys, is listening to a CD – The Best of Nat King Cole. She is sitting in her lounge chair just as satisfied as she can be. I am amazed to hear her sing along. She is smiling, she is happy and she is content.
In contrast, just yesterday, Gladys was extremely agitated. She was crying, her eyes were tightly closed, her teeth were chattering and her hand was closed into a tight fist. We didn’t know what was wrong with her and she couldn’t explain why she was agitated.
I bought the CD on eBay for $1.50. Shortly after it arrived, I asked Fred to play it for Gladys. Had I known the effect it would have on her, I would have done so sooner. When I finish this post, I’m going to call my mother and ask what other music I should buy. 
