The Sad Side of Caregiving for Family Members with Dementia

If you are a family caregiver, you know the difficulties of taking care of an aging person with any form dementia.  They forget so many things that you remember and may feel are important.  Eventually, they may forget your name and who you are.

If you’ve been reading this blog, you know that I take care of my god-sister.  She is a widow with no children, siblings or close family members – except me and my family.   During the the first ten years of my life, I was primarily raised by my god-mother.  Even though Gladys is old enough to be my mother, she and I were raised as sisters.

The Gladys that I grew up with was a strong, confident, self-sufficient woman.  Today, she is just a shell of her former self – she is the exact antithesis of what she used to be.  Granted, she has flash backs and threatens to knock the sh## out of one of the other clients at the adult day care center; but that’s rare.  Her body is weak, she is totally reliant on me and Fred (my husband) and her memory fades more each day.

Gladys knows who I am but she doesn’t know my name.  She often confuses me with my oldest daughter, Nichole and as a result she calls me Nichole.  My husband, Fred and daughter, Anita don’t have names.  Gladys manages to call them without using a name.

It’s very difficult for me to come to grips with this Gladys because I still see the strong, confident woman I knew in the past.  Yet, I realize that the past is exactly that – the past.

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