A Week With Elder Abuse Encounters

For the past month or so I’ve done very little blogging because I’ve been very busy planning a workshop for caregivers and opening an on-line store.  In addition to those efforts, I’ve been showing my vacant rental property.  Last week I found it odd that I would have four different encounters with elder abuse.  These were not things that I actually witnessed but personal encounters nonetheless.

Because we plan to address the effects of stress and burnout at the workshop, any form of elder abuse sends up a red flag.

The Tenant

When your rental property has been vacant for four months, you really want to get someone in there.  So when this family came to look at the house they seemed like nice people and they really wanted the house.  One of my practices is to do a credit and background check on potential tenants.  Based on just the credit check (which was extremely bad) I decided to not rent them the house.  A friend of mine who manages apartments wanted me to give them a chance but require them to pay first, last and deposit.  But while I’m talking to her, I’m also looking over the background check and saw that the husband had done prison time for elder abuse.  WHAT! I was glad that I had already made a decision based on the credit report because I don’t know if denying a tenant based on elder abuse is some form of discrimination.

The Banker

Later that week, I went to the bank to open a bank account for my new online caregiver store.  The banker and I started talking and it turned out that years ago, her first job was a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) in a nursing home.  She told me that she quit the job and went back to school to get a degree in business because she just couldn’t deal with how badly the people in that particular nursing home were treated.

The Tweeter

I try to participate in social networks and follow a lot of caregivers on Twitter.  In turn, I am followed by a lot of caregivers.  One night a particular young lady who takes care of her mother who has Alzheimer’s was having a really bad day.  As I read through the tweets trying to catch up, I saw several that she had written.  When I saw the one that said “this woman is F*#ing crazy.” I  was alarmed.  In my mind I could see someone about to explode.  Fortunately, I saw where another tweeter had sent her a message about getting some help.

The Mechanic

While I was waiting to get my car checked, I began talking to one of the mechanics who was telling me about his father who has Alzheimer’s. He said, “We’re going to have to take the car keys soon. He almost ran someone off the road last week and he keeps getting lost.” I asked him why they hadn’t already taken the car keys and he said his father won’t let them. I asked him what are you going to do if he hurts someone?

Unfortunately, there is a lot of elder abuse and potential elder abuse going on.  How do we handle it when it’s encountered, either directly or indirectly.  Elderly people, especially those with disabilities and/or some form of dementia cannot fend for themselves.

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Elder Abuse Is A Crime

Did you know that elder abuse is often under reported.  Did you know that most elder abuse is committed by a family member or someone they know.  Do you know why I am writing about this?  Of course you don’t.

Yesterday I spoke with a friend of mine who had just returned from out of town after attending their grandmother’s funeral. The grandmother was 88 years old and was cared for by her son.  I was quite disturbed by some of the things that were shared about the grandmother’s care by a family member who was a known drug addict.

When I started this blog, I wanted to keep it positive and upbeat.  But there are some things that must be shared about the dark and ugly side of caregiving.  This video is simply entitled Elder Abuse and is the work of Skewerblue.  After viewing the video, please take a look at the statistics below.  I’ll come back in a later post to follow up on this topic.

Elder Abuse by Skewerblue

The following statistics are from http://www.karisable.com/elderabuse.htm

American’s over the age of 50 years represent 30% of our population, 12% of our murder victims and 7% of other serious and violent crime victims.
90% of elder abuse and neglect incidents are by known perpetrators, usually family members, 2/3rds are adult children or spouses. 42% of murder victims over 60 were killed by their own offspring. Spouses were the perpetrators in 24% of family murders of persons over 60.

The eldest of our seniors, 80 years and older, are abused and neglected at 2 – 3 times the proportion of all other senior citizens. – Bureau of Justice Statistics

Elder abuse is a crime and should be reported.

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