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Dementia, the Sneaky Thief
Dementia is mental disorder that causes memory loss, a decline in intellectual and language skills, difficulties with motor skills and judgement. It can be caused by a variety of diseases or conditions. In Gladys’ case, her dementia was the result of a massive stroke, heart attack and seizures that occurred in a very short time span.
Gladys has lived with us now for two years, over which my family and I have witnessed her steady decline. At first her symptoms declined gradually but in the past four months it has been difficult to keep up with her mental and physical changes.
Why I Call Dementia a Sneaky Thief
I started calling dementia a sneaky thief about six months ago when Gladys could no longer go the the bathroom without assistance. It was as though someone snuck into her room and stole a life skill that so many of us take for granted: pull down pants, sit on commode, use toilet, stand up, pull up pants. A simple life skill that disappeared like a thief in the night.
At that time, Gladys still remembered to go to the bathroom but she would sit on the commode with her pants still up. She had no idea that she had not performed the necessary task of pulling her pants down. Dementia stole her ability to reason.
Right now dementia is just waiting to snatch away a few more of Gladys’ life skills that are teetering on the cusp of disability:
- swallowing medicine
- standing and walking
- feeding herself
- use of her left arm and leg
A thief is someone who steals something from someone else with the intent of keeping it (or selling it). Over time, dementia steals so many of our life skills. Simple things that we take for granted – things we do without thinking.
These are just a few of the things that my family deals with. If you are a caregiver, what has the sneaky thief stolen from your loved one?
Note: Image of the brain from http://faculty.washington.edu
The Soothing Effects of Music on Dementia Patients
As I write this post my god-sister, Gladys, is listening to a CD – The Best of Nat King Cole. She is sitting in her lounge chair just as satisfied as she can be. I am amazed to hear her sing along. She is smiling, she is happy and she is content.
In contrast, just yesterday, Gladys was extremely agitated. She was crying, her eyes were tightly closed, her teeth were chattering and her hand was closed into a tight fist. We didn’t know what was wrong with her and she couldn’t explain why she was agitated.
I bought the CD on eBay for $1.50. Shortly after it arrived, I asked Fred to play it for Gladys. Had I known the effect it would have on her, I would have done so sooner. When I finish this post, I’m going to call my mother and ask what other music I should buy. 
Welcome to My World – A Caregiver’s Frustration
Since we’ve been receiving hospice care, a nurse visits our home twice a week and we really appreciate those visits. Because of her declining mental and physical abilities, Gladys’ care is becoming increasingly frustrating. For the past few days, it has been very difficult for Gladys to stand up and walk. In fact, we don’t even take her to the bathroom anymore, we just try to get her to take the few steps to the bedside commode.
This past Monday our home health aid and the nurse arrived about the same time. They were surprised that it took both of them to get Gladys out of her chair and stand her up to her walker. Of course Gladys told the nurse that she felt fine and everything was going well. They looked at me, surprised at the effort that it took for both of them to help her up. I just looked at them and said “Welcome to My World.”
More change is in store because my husband, Fred, starts working next week. It will be an adjustment because he helps me a lot with Gladys. I have added another day for our sitter, so that will be some relief and allow me to run errands and do other things I need to do.
All we can do is take it one day at a time and do the best we can. It gets a little frustrating but so far we’re managing.
