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How I Almost Burned Myself Out Over an Elder Care Workshop
Becoming A Caregiver
Thirteen months ago I became Gladys’ caregiver. We moved her from my daughter, Nichole’s home in Philadelphia to my home in Atlanta. During the 2-1/2 years that my daughter took care of Gladys, I traveled to Philly about once a quarter to give Nikki a four day break. Even with that experience, I was not mentally prepared to take care of Gladys.
The house was ready. We moved our offices from the first level of our town home to the third level. We installed a handicap accessible bathroom. And we made the first level Gladys’ living quarters that would also accommodate a walker and wheelchair. That was the easy part. The hard part was all of the things I didn’t know and seemed to have difficulty finding answers.
When I started blogging and reading other caregivers blogs, I found out that I was not alone. There were lots of people out there who had suddenly become caregivers for parents or some other family member. Those people also had lots of questions about elder care, Medicare and Medicaid. So, earlier this year, I decided to host a workshop.
Planning, Blogging, Tweeting and A Start-up
I have been planning meetings, conferences and workshops for over 30 years so I knew that I was able to plan a caregivers’ workshop. In my mind, the most difficult task would be finding qualified speakers. How naive! What I didn’t take into consideration was several other things that turned out to be very stressful:
- I was in the midst of setting up an on-line store for caregivers
- I have three blogs that I try to keep up
- I have two Twitter accounts that need regular updating
The bottom line is that I didn’t have time to do all of these things in addition to taking care of Gladys and working part-time 3 days a week.
More Hindrances = More Stress
- Gladys recently began having night time incontinence issues that keep me up at night
- Right after I started planning the workshop, tenants moved out of my rental property
- Marketing an event without a name recognition or an established brand is difficult
- The person who was helping me market the event lost her job and couldn’t focus on the event
- Two of my speakers pulled out three weeks before the workshop
- Only two people were registered two weeks before the workshop
Options
Obviously, not taking care of Gladys was not an option. However, I did hire someone to come over once a week to give her bathroom and bedroom a good cleaning. Seems like a small thing, but it’s a big help. Repairs had to be made on the rental property as well as advertising the house, showing the house and screening applicants. I need the income from the property so not taking care of those things was not an option.
Blogging had to be put on hold. If you are a regular reader of this blog, then you know that for the past 3-4 months, blog posts have been erratic at best. I hope I haven’t lost readers but I had to make some difficult choices. My other two blogs, Your Ministry Helper and Nothing In Particular suffered as well. I was really concerned about them because they are both less than a year old and don’t have much traffic.
Twitter also took a back seat. I tried to log in once or twice a day and make a few tweets about elder care or the workshop but did not put a lot of effort into it. This was risky as well because my twitter account has only been active since April.
As I look over this post, I think I must have been crazy to undertake new ventures, but I did.
What happened with the workshop and why was I determined to have it? As Paul Harvey would say, you’ll get the rest of the story in the next post.
See you in a few days!
Senior Care Tips from Francy Dickinson
I’ve been hanging out a little bit on Twitter and follow Francy Dickinson. She tweets Senior Care Tips. I asked Francy if it’s ok to list some of them on my blog and she gave me the go ahead. For those of you who are not on twitter, here are some of her tips. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.
Hot Weather Tips
- Hot day means moving Senior to different positions in their chair every 15 min so skin stays strong
- Seniors using gel cushion covered with towel will keep them cooler than foam cushion
- Super Hot? Breath deep to relax then control breathing in and out for calmer blood pressure; raise feet in heat or wear support hose
- Super Hot? Get moisturizer with SPF15 in the cream, older skin is thinner, burns fast and chafes easily, wear hat or umbrella for shade
- Super Hot? Chill protein drink and shake before you serve, tastes more like milkshake or root beer with vanilla ice cream in glass-Yum
- Super Hot? Small amount of ice in zip lock bags, under neck and under arms; water, water, water keep chilled in small ice chest by Senior’s chair
Visiting Tips
- Always turn off or down the TV when you visit a Senior, they can then concentrate on you not TV
- Senior share a care room? Come in and say hi to roommate then close curtain for private chat
- MP3 player that is easy to see with time, music and library downloaded audio books are a hit with seniors, gift them 1 with your teaching time
- Hearing impaired can use ear phones well for TV, radio and Mp3 players, teach how to use and watch their lifestyle improve
- Taking Crispy Creams to the care facility for staff and your Seniorr is always fun; a thermos of hot tea and a good donut makes every 1 happy
- Sunday brunch can still be enjoyed with family at care centers. Call ahead and they will make arrangement to have you join them
- Visiting family in hospital? Ask family to put you on the update list and give them your twitter or email so you are in the loop
If You enjoyed these tips, you can find more at Francy’s website, Senior Care With Spirit.
I called my mom who takes care of her 82 year old sister, who is legally blind and almost deaf. Mom is going to try the ear phone with television tip. We hope it helps.
Long Term Eldercare – Who Will Take Care of You?
Before becoming a caregiver, I didn’t give much thought to being an elder care recipient. I have a husband and two adult daughters, with whom I intend to keep a good relationship so they will want to take care of me if I become too old or feeble to take care of myself.
If you are a widow or widower with no siblings, children or close relatives, who will take care of you? Do you have a close friend whose family will take you in, or will you end up a ward of the state?
I became a caregiver for my god-sister, Gladys, because she is a widow with no siblings, no children and no close family who could take care of her. Because she and I were raised as sisters (despite our age difference) her care became my responsibility and I am glad that I can take care of her. However, this type of relationship is not always the case.
There is a member of my church who has been bed ridden for the past six years. She is in her forties and cannot care for herself. She has a 13 year old daughter who has been helping her mother as much as she can. This lady has siblings but is estranged from her family, so members of our church check on her and try to help out. It’s not easy to help her because she can be very difficult and quite unpleasant. Every time I see this woman I think about how we should value our family and friends because we might need them some day.
According to statistics, there are approximately 50 million family caregivers. Currently, there are 35 million Americans over the age of 65. More than 5 million Americans are over the age of 85. Do you have enough insurance or money saved up for long term care? If not, what are your plans for future care? You may not need it but what if you do?
In addition to thinking through this process:
- Have you talked with family members about care preferences
- Do you have a living will
- Have you given thought to a power of attorney
- Who will help with bills and finances
Fortunately for us, Gladys had her attorney draw up a will, living will and gave me her power of attorney in 1993. I did not need to use it until 2005.
As unpleasant as it may be, these are hard conversations to have and tough decisions to make, but it’s better to do it now before it becomes necessary. When these decisions are necessary, they become emotional decisions and that’s usually not good.
Give it some thought, have some conversations and come up with a plan.
