I Finally Had to Lock Her Up

Wait, it’s not what you think.  Don’t call the department of family services or report us for elder abuse.  This is just another way that I have learned to work smarter and not harder.

Over the past few months several changes have occurred with Gladys: 1) she has become incontinent, 2) she doesn’t remember to pull her underpants down when she uses the toilet and 3) she can’t judge where is she in relation to a chair (or toilet seat).  As a result of #3 she usually straddles the arm of the chair so when she tries to sit down, she doesn’t know what is wrong and she thinks she is going to fall.  Gladys is deathly afraid of falling.

Several times a day, we have to talk Gladys into her seat when she has straddled the chair.  We have to tell her to move forward; move to the right; move over some more; back up, ok, now sit down.  It’s a little frustrating during the day, but at night it’s major drama.  At night, especially when she awakens during the night, Gladys’ ability to understand is almost non-existent.

The Last Straw

For several nights in a row, Gladys got up to use her bedside commode and instead of sitting on the seat, sat on the arm.  She was straddled.  This didn’t happen once per night, it happened several times.  Now remember I told you two things 1) she has a fear of falling and 2) at night her understanding is almost non-existent.  As a result, I can’t talk her out of the straddle.  And because she’s afraid, she stiffens all of her limbs and locks them tight, therefore, I can’t guide her out of the straddle either.  So now, I have to wake up my husband so he can put her in the bed.

After a few nights of this, I had to come up with a better solution.  I was getting no sleep at all because once you wake me up at 3 AM and stress me out, I can’t go back to sleep.  Fred, of course, is asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

The Solution

I decided to lift both rails on her hospital bed, which essentially locks her up.  Fred thought this was a terrible ideas because it keeps her from getting up to use the bedside commode.  My response was, “What difference does it make?”  When she goes by herself she forgets to pull her underwear down, so in terms of wetting herself, nothing changes.  So with the extra-absorbent briefs and washable bed pads, it’s all good.

The Question

Will Gladys wake up at night and call me to let her out of the bed?  It’s been a month now and it hasn’t happened.  I don’t know what it is about those rails but she doesn’t fuss or question them, she adjusted to them immediately.   The cat, however, wouldn’t sleep on Gladys’ bed when I first pulled up both sides.  I think she had flashbacks of the cage she was in before I adopted her from the shelter.  She’s ok now.

The Result

I haven’t slept so good in months.  I’m happy, Fred’s happy, Gladys is happy.  No more exhausted, cranky mornings for me.  I wake up refreshed.  Ahhhhhhhhhh!  If you’ve heard the saying, “When momma ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy.”  Believe it!

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Our Current Problem – Night Time Incontinence

Night time incontinence has become a real problem. Gladys still gets up during the night to use her bedside commode but she also manages to wet herself, usually between 2 AM and 5 AM. The answer to this problem could be super absorbent disposable underwear but it won’t work for us.  Gladys tends to remove her underwear sometime between 2 AM and 4 AM. We don’t know why she does this, and she doesn’t remember taking them off.

On the up side, I have started using washable underpads on top of her sheets. They are great for protecting the sheets and reduce the number of weekly laundry loads. At first I purchased the disposable underpads. They are effective for a moderate amount of wetness, but they start to disintegrate and I had used up the whole pack in a week. The washable underpads are fairly expensive (about $19 – $24 each) but they are reusable and very effective. They also come in a variety of sizes.

During the day, Gladys uses the bathroom and she rarely has an accident. Once in a while she doesn’t pull her underwear down far enough when she goes to the bathroom, but that doesn’t happen often.

A New Product from Depend

In case you haven’t seen them, Depend has introduced incontinence wear specifically designed for men and women. They were kind enough to send me some sample packs in size small and large.  I gave the pack of small to a friend for her mother.

These new underwear come in Extra Absorbency and Super Plus Absorbency. The underwear for women and men have a different leg cut, waist band color and absorbency protection where men and women need it most. Since I don’t wear them, I cant vouch for the comfort factor you’ll just have to take their word for it or try them yourself

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